"Mommy Confidential"...

Ricki Lake is back on the air. To be honest, I didn't really think twice about watching her show as our TV really isn't on during the day...and if it is, it is tuned to the like of my children's choices! But the other day, I read the info for her show that aired yesterday, and PVR'd it and watched it last night.

The episode was entitled "Mommy Confidential" and it was discussing a number of different parenting topics: from breastfeeding in public to not feeling like a good mother...it was a really interesting show- with some very strong opinions.

I would love to hear your thoughts on the topics...
the breastfeeding in public was an interesting one...one mothers thoughts were basically that the act of breastfeeding isn't really about a bonding experience, and more so one of need. Her children (she has twins) need to eat and when they are hungry, the boobs come out and they are fed. She related it to a strawberry. If they were hungry and wanted a strawberry, she would give them that anywhere, so why should it matter what the food.

The funny thing is, most of us were breastfed at one point. It is a natural act that our bodies are made to do. Sure, some people are unable or have different difficulties, but the fact is, it shouldn't be so frowned upon in public...so my is it!?

I have breastfed all three of my kids. The length of times all varied, however I attempted it. I myself was never fully comfortable whipping it out in public...I actually wasn't totally comfortable doing it around family. I always wore a sling, or left the room when doing so. I don't know that anyone would have judged me for staying in the room...but I felt more comfortable leaving.
When I decided to stop breastfeeding T, I definitely felt judged by some other mothers. Why is there such a stigma around doing so or not, along with where and how.
Funny how us mothers feel alone at some point in the child-rearing process, and yet continue to pass judgement.

The other topic was regarding not feeling like a good mom (to sum it up).
I think that any parent that is honest with themselves feels this in some way shape or form at certain times!
I remember my first real time of feeling this way: Kai was a baby, and he had just fallen off the change table...again. Yes, it happened twice. It was when he was first beginning to roll and both times caught me totally off guard. The first time, yes I felt terrible but was more consumed with "is he hurt." He wasn't thankfully...either time. The second time it occurred, i was mortified. I could not believe i had allowed this to happen again. I was the worst mother.
These days, I have my days of feeling terrible in different ways. No falling off change tables, i learnt that the hard was with the first child. I find myself feeling like a bad mom when I don't have the energy for them and get "snappy." Yes, the yelling mom comes out sometimes and on those days where my yells outnumber the rational talking voice...i don't think i have done a very good job of parenting.

Remember...sometimes you just need to take a breathe.

I have heard this quote before that is somewhere along the lines of "I was a better mother before I had children," it is an ironic quote as you will never fully get it, until you have kids of your own!
I think that I am a pretty great Mom. And I do the best I can do. Yes, there are "those days." Ones that make others look like cake, but if they were all the same, we would not be learning, and I suppose our kids would not be developing. Yes, the quote in a way is a reality....but I think maybe instead of thinking I would be a better mother, just knowing that I am a different mother. Life changes and different realities take shape...and we become a newer, better, self...that learns to roll with some pretty challenging punches!

My last word of advice...make sure you take some time out for you as well as time out for you and your husband. Remember who started the family in the first place. If there is no you, there is no family.

“(24/7) once you sign on to be a mother, that's the only shift they offer.” 
― Jodi Picoult, My Sister's Keeper


Anyways, I was impressed with the topics breached on Motherhood on Ricki. I think I may have to watch this show more often :)

The French Way...

Last week i ordered the new book out "Bringing Up Bebe: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting,"by Pamela Druckerman.
It caught my attention for a few reasons.
1) What wisdom can french woman offer to us "American mothers"
2) Will there actually be some helpful hints inside
3) France...well me and it have a little obsession...so motherhood and France, how can I not read it!?
...maybe a slight bit of envy too in moving her family to France...!?

I have yet to crack the book, but am hoping to tonight. I am intrigued~

My moms friend sent a link to us the other day, which was literally the day after I ordered the book, the author was on the Today Show with Kathie Lee and Hoda. Follow the link for the clip.

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/29054368/vp/46572211#46572211

What do you think? Thoughts on this concept of parenting? Anyone read the book?
I will keep you updated as I read thru it if there are some interesting, must try tips!

Self Acceptance...

Are we all searching for a sense of community, of acceptance in some way? Constantly looking for those people that can relate. That understand, even if just a little, what you are going through...or why you do what you do?

I think that I have learnt over the past few years, that becoming a mother really solidified these questions for me. When you have no one around you that understands the journey of motherhood, the path that you take to get there, and what is on the other side, it can be a pretty lonely world to live in.

When I was pregnant with Kai, I had no friends that were anywhere near the realm of understanding. The first to marry, the first to become pregnant...and the first to have a child. Can you say, separation. It was a difficult thing to get used to. I was in awe of this new little being; of being a mom and loving something in a way I never knew possible. But there were other things that occurred in my life that I was not prepared for.  Loss of friends. Loss of invitations to "hang-out." Suddenly, our new "family" was looked upon differently, and I suppose assumptions were made that a mom would not want to do the things she once did. Yes true on some levels, and so not true on others. I was lonely and isolated...and had no where to turn.
Over the next while, I began some new friendships that involved woman with children: other moms. I found some of my best bonds in different circles and feel so fortunate that I came out of a shell and searched for something new.
I have to admit, it is hard to make new friends. I mean honestly...unless you are in school, or start a new job, where do you meet people...a bar, craigslist!? For me, I have made some great friends following my passions...these people enjoy similar things. I think that is likely the key to lasting friendships. And in the world of parenthood...well that is an entirely different bond. Once you break from your shell and get out into the world, with a child, you can strike up a conversation at a playground or in the line of a grocery store for that matter!

I have found in my first years of motherhood, that moms have many similarities. We all love to talk about kids, moms, advice, husbands, wine ;)...and we are all looking for a piece of ourselves that isn't defined by the term mom or wife.

I have learnt that talking is a great outlet. That I love writing. And that getting together with other woman, even if all we do is talk baby, it is still a night out...for ourselves!

And so, I have decided to start a Moms Club. A networking evening once a month where we can get together. To talk kids, babies, pregnancy, life, husband/partners...really WHATEVER. And enjoy a nice glass of wine (ok maybe two) while doing it.

It is amazing how many ladies have told me this is exactly what they have been looking for... ladies, so have I. I am excited to do this...and to learn some tips on parenting, make stronger bonds and new friends along the way.

"A good friend is cheaper than therapy."  ~Author Unknown 


So lets get together monthly, and be each others therapy! ;)

"the best Blogs to tell your wife about"...

We were recognized the other day on Wonderdads as one of the top blogs to tell your wives about, with regards to mom/life/parenting blogs!

Check it out at Wonderdads.

Thanks Wonderdads for the recognition and shout out!

And don't forget to click on Top Mommy Blogs below to cast your vote :)

What's in a number...

I read this interesting article this morning. It is debating whether one child is the "right" way to go, or if 2+ is a better option. It is a short and simple summary of a few books that debate their sides on the matter; but no matter what side you are on, an interesting take on both.
For us, one child was never a thought. We knew we always wanted at least two...and now with our third on the way, we feel even more blessed.
I don't think you can ever completely decide on the number of children you are going to have, until you have one. Kids are amazing in so many ways. They offer you so much. They teach you to love like you never knew possible. They teach you, plain and simple. They surprise you. They love you. They test you. They exhaust you. Every child brings love and joy into this world: into your life. And every child is different.
As for the numbers game, doing what is best for you and your family is all that matters. Don't let judgement from others affect your desires. People can be so critical. Live your own life.

Here is the article:
The Case for Having Only One Child

Let it all hang out...

I am pretty sure Kai has been enjoying his "boyhood" these days. He is realizing that with his boy parts, it is quite easy to pee...almost anywhere.
In the bushes. In the garbage can (right beside the toilet might i add!)...and the most recent, over our deck onto the grass below.

Yes, I caught him standing on our main deck, pants down full frontal to our neighbours, peeing through the rails of our deck to the grass below. Awesome.
This took me so off guard, I couldn't keep a straight face long enough to tell him no, let alone a consequence. Once my shock and laughter was over, I was able to get out that we do not do that and we only pee IN THE TOILET!

Where is this all coming from lately!? He is pushing boundaries and limits. Doing things he knows he shouldn't do. Talking back...really trying to express himself.

Could this possible be the beginning of jealousy as my stomach grows and he wonders what is up next? attention seeking. Yes, clearly he is doing that. Why; that is what we have to find out.

What is with our children and their fascination with bodily fluids and functions!

For now, the toilet seats are lifted and the doors are locked. His urine is staying in the toilet.

**don't forget to enter this weeks Giveaway! Info on Giveaways page!**

With Age Comes Experience...

This statement was just used in an article speaking of Sarah Jessica Parker and motherhood (click here to take you to the article on modernmom.com). I have to dispute this line a bit.
With kids come experience in the field of children. Not age. Nothing will ever fully prepare you for children until you have them. Not age. Not time. Not career.


Sure, you may be able to give your children more... more life experience lessons, more financially. Who knows! To each their own. Everyone is at a different point in the personal lives at any age.
My feelings; Age and Experience with regards to motherhood is inaccurate.

I am learning daily. My kids teach me daily. I constantly surprise myself; and they constantly surprise me.

Every day is a learning experience. Whether you are 20 or 40.

Thoughts?!










PLEASE DONT FORGET TO CLICK BELOW TODAY :)

Emotional Ride to Whistler...

Wow. I cannot believe it is already Wednesday. Nearly a week since I last blogged. So much to write about and so many things to express, yet my mind and body have not been linking together well these past few days and I have not found much time, nor the energy, to type... I am dying to get things down, but am having problems finding the right words to express myself.

Lets start easy and see where it goes.

Thank you again to Kristi Gordon for her interview last week for the featured Celebrity Mom Interview! It is always fun to catch a glimpse into the busy lives of other woman (mom, mom to be, or not at all!). I find sometimes glimpses of other peoples lives helps to put our own lives in perspective in some odd way.

As for life and what has been going on over here. Well, my husband is officially 3-0! We celebrated last weekend with the family as he rang in the new digit. Too much food, good wine, some amazing gifts...and one not so great one.

Unfortunately, the art of surprise to my husband isn't really a good thing. I am not going into any great detail here, lets just say, I thought that a surprise trip to an undisclosed location sans kids would be an amazing gift for him...and us.  A nice thought and gesture wasn't received the way I had "expected" it to...and thus, a weekend blow-out and emotional exhaustion for the two of us, beyond any we had experienced in a long...LONG...time.
Life can be full of surprises. And his birthday came with one for both of us. Never in my wildest dreams did I think my plans would cause any form of argument, sadness or anger. And it did all of the above. That is the funny thing about expectation. Even when you know someone, you cant necessarily "expect" things. Be it a reaction, an outcome, a gesture or a gift. The minute you take your own expectation out of the equation, you wont get hurt, saddened, angered or disgruntled along the way. It is something that seems so simple, yet is the hardest thing to accomplish.

Putting the past behind us, we picked up our bruised hearts and broken egos and continued on with time for just the two of us; only looking a little different in location to me...but with the same intent. To spend time with my husband...just the two of us.

And so, here we are in a wonderful part of our province, even more beautiful on a hot sunny day, spending time together:laughing, talking and re-kindling the love that was hiding behind anger over the past few days.

It is amazing what you can allow to escalate and argue about when feelings get hurt and exhaustion takes over.

The tears are gone and the smiles are here.
The clock has been reading 8:30 am..instead of 6:30 with the kids. The work emails and phone calls have been minimal. The food has been made for us. I have only done one load of laundry. We are relaxing.

And so we are enjoying our mini-vacation. With the kids never too far out of thought. They are in most of our conversations.
Once a parent always a parent. Always wanting a mini moment to yourself, but missing them the entire time you get it.

To Life. To Love. To Happiness.

Trying Times...

Life has been full lately as we have been running at full speed. Almost relax time! Long weekend here we come!!

With the way life has been, I have been feeling really guilty about the quality time (or lack there of) I have been spending with my kids. I am so excited for this weekend ahead full of family time and celebrations.
With the chaos of work and life last week, the nanny bill added up way too quickly as I had little time to think let alone be home playing with the kids. I know that life just goes like that sometimes, and in my line of work I have to take it when it comes, but it makes me feel that pang of guilt for not being there as much with the kids.
And then, when I am there... Lately I feel the guilt as I am sending Kai to time-out and trying to get Si to understand the concept as they are both, shall I say, testing the boundaries. Some days it feels like a no win situation; and
I am taking it all in stride, trying to navigate through the terrible 3's of Kai and almost 2's of Si. Yes, they are a real phase. No they are not only the Terrible Twos. I figure they are labeled as such because that is around the age they begin...give or take a year. I figure, they are not talked about as the terrible years or decades because that would just scare everyone into vasectomies and/or tube tying! The real fact is, parenting is scary. You do your best and raise you kids the best way you know how. This young age is when children are learning they too have a voice, and that yes, they can be heard! I mean really, can you think back upon your childhood and teenage years and think of a time you weren't worrying or tormenting your parents. Yes, its called payback...and its real.
For me, I recall falling on glass as an infant and needing stitches in my wrist; I have been told of temper-tantrums thrown in the middle of stores with everyone looking on with faces of judgement (clearly these people did not have children); The I hate you dad years; The I hate you mom years; The I hate my sibling years...you get the point. There is always and will always be something.
So as a mom...I take it one day at a time. One minute at a time. I do my best. I am the best mom I can be.
I love them with all my heart. I may miss some hours in the day but I am not missing their lives. I spoil them (yes its true). I discipline them. And I do my best to direct them through life the best way I know how.

I love you Kai and Si.
Thank you for having come into my life. Thank you for being you. Thank you for teaching me what Unconditional Love truly is.

"Mommies are just big little girls.  ~Author Unknown"

Wine, yes please...

I am having "one of those days." I am sure some of you mom's can relate...well at least, I am hoping you can relate and that I am not alone in this feeling!
My kids are driving me crazy. To the point where I would like to play hide and seek and hide with my computer in such a great place that they cant find me for a long while!
This afternoon has been a WHINE-FEST by both of them! Everything they want, do or don't do apparently warrants a whine and some tears. These past hours have felt like days.
And then when I go to sit and have a few minutes of peace, or just try to get some work done, they decide to follow me, climb on me or bite me...this is Si's new thing.
This has been one long afternoon and it isn't over yet.
With their whine's I am longing for an amazing glass of wine...t-minus too many more months, and counting!

Sometime when I am felling this way I feel like such a bad mom; that I should be able to not only handle, but enjoy my kids. I honestly do love, enjoy and have lots of fun with them. There are just those moments (well sometimes hours) that I allow my children to rule my emotions...and drive me a little crazy!



Si climbing up my legs



Si literally climbing on me.

It's almost 5:00...and you know what that means, Ryan is almost home! These monkeys need a new monkey to climb on!

Painting Parties and Giveaway...

First order of business...the Hockey Game. We were not to impressed over here on many accounts! The ref's, the Canucks, Lu...the Bruins cheap shots. In fact, Si thought it was so bad that it warranted another painting party...and Ryan figured he may as well clean it up with one of our new rags; a playoff towel from one of the games we were fortunate enough to go to. Enough said. Hope Wednesday night BRINGS IT! So does our carpet!

I have a busy day ahead, more party planning do! Should be fun! A little anxious about the sitter we have watching the kids; not worried about the kids themselves, just the state of the house when I arrive home!

And now...for a Giveaway Contest!!
Go check out KeKe Kraze.
KeKe Kraze was founded by Cheryl, a woman whom resides in Chilliwack, BC.  Cheryl crochets adorable hats and photography props (i.e. hammocks) for babies, children and adults.
Her crocheting ability is amazing, and her items are unique and sized and colored to your specifications.
And the most amazing aspect of it all, 100% of all monies raised go to "Water For Life". Cheryl's goal is to dig a water well that costs $4800.

Here is the Giveaway.
A hat made just for you (or your little one) from KeKe Kraze!!
Go to KeKe Kraze's link and scroll through Cheryl's large database of items. If you are the winner of my giveaway, name announced Friday, then you will be able to select a hat of your choice and determine the color combination along with size you would like to order! Amazing deal and even better cause.

Here is how to enter for Friday's Draw:

1) Comment by entering your name (either here or on While They Are Sleeping's fb page)

And for the following you will score and extra vote per item you do...

2) Like While They Are Sleeping on Facebook
3) Vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs my clicking the icon in my signature.
4) Like KeKe Kraze on Facebook

Easy! Contest winner drawn Friday morning; entries in my 11:59pm Thursday night. Good luck!

And to add to the excitement of Friday...a Fabulous Friday Celebrity Interview to look forward to.

Happy Tuesday!

The Smell of a Win...

Instead of celebrating an amazing Canuck comeback last night, Ryan and I were celebrating the after-game with a Bissel carpet cleaner, paper towel and disinfectant.
She was at it again...instead of painting her crib brown, Si was sitting behind her bedroom door painting the door, the wall, the carpet and of course, herself.
This is my new best friend.

Worked like magic. Not only did it remove the new shade of brown our carpet was, it took away the smell as well (thank God!). This was a new step for her...no more pop in the crib. Ryan made a good observation, she seems to "paint" where her so called escape route is closed. ie, in the crib she would paint the guard rails; now with no crib, she can climb out so she goes for the door.
I guess shes a bit like a dog in this way...you know, dogs won't mess their sleeping quarters...they will do all extremes to keep that area clean. I recall a time when our dog was a little puppy; with puppy came sleep training (kind of like a baby again!), and breaking him into a kennel...one time he was sick, and to avoid crapping his kennel, he literally stuck his butt to the door and pooped out; awesome i know, but smart, right!? So this is how I am relating our daughter...to our dog. Hilarious!
Needless to say, what we are doing at the current moment to stop this poopy mess from occurring is not working.
She is a smart 20 month old. She tries to play the innocent one when in fact, she knows EXACTLY what she is doing. She cries bloody murder when her brother is around so he gets in trouble; she pushes boundaries again and again, and then pretends to not know what time out means (although this is where she puts her baby and her bunny when they aren't listening); this little girl has us whipped...and this cycle has got to stop!
Maybe I will be looking back at that episode of "Quints by Surprise" where they duct tape the diaper to their little girl that does the same; at least the duct tape was pink...stylish! ;-)
Anyways, back to the drawing board for Ryan and I...we color in PEN...to devise a plan of some sort!!

Now, a rant on our three year old. Whomever labeled the "terrible twos" as such, clearly did not have children; they must have been an observer.
There are a few years here that seem to come with new attitudes and bad moods.
Starting around 1.5 where they still don't get what time out is, but continuously push the boundaries; then into the talked about two's. I found this age to be where Kai was learning and growing, yet needed discipline to learn right from wrong; and now, we are into the threes. This is a fun age...the age where your three year old can talk, and therefore talk back. They know what is right and wrong (in many cases), and yet continuously do the latter to get your attention...and then when disciplined, talk back at you, call you names or yell. The days just get better! At least they are communicating, right!? I find, Kai is at his "best" ;-) when there are others around. This is when, I figure, he is trying to demand attention and therefore does EVERYTHING he knows he is not supposed to do to get that attention.
The other day, we had a new sitter come to watch the kids; when I got home the house was a bomb...and I mean B-O-M-B. All toy bins were dumped, snacks were on the floor...an utter mess. She tells me that Kai just wanted to dump everything out. Two main problems here; the first being that Kai was obviously looking for attention and knowing he could get away with pushing this boundary she was not stopping it; and second, that SHE WAS NOT STOPPING IT! I was shocked, to say the least, at her answer. She was allowing a three year old to rule the house. Really!?
Anyways, back to the discipline board to find a new course of action.

What do four's look like? Or do I even want to know!

Lastly, I know I mentioned a giveaway on Thursday, it was supposed to be announced Friday; tune in Monday as it will be announced then :-)

Happy Weekend...hope your stays out of the brown.

(VOTE for me...please)

Never Say Never...

Written March 5, 2011

Ryan and I have had a whirlwind couple, well handful, of years and just as we think we are finally settling... a curve ball is thrown.
A positive... a positive...!?
That in laments terms is, I peed on a stick and yep, I am pregnant!
Here's to three under three-and-a half...holy s*#t.

Here we were getting used to our life as a family of four, still not sure if "eventually" there would be more, but not totally set on that... and as life would have it, there was a plan for us I guess.

"A grand adventure is about to begin."
-- Winnie the Pooh
Our life is already crazy chaos, what is this new stage going to look like? I guess only time will tell. We will need to band together as husband and wife, mom and dad, and Kai and Si as sister and brother.

So many emotions/feelings sit inside of me right now, along with a fluttering stomach and slight bit of nausea. Oh my god, to start. Can we do this. How will we do this. Thank goodness I am working again. Will our new addition be a boy or girl? How will Si handle a baby (being the youngest). How will Kai and Si handle it as they are the best of friends right now. How is my husband handling the news I graced him with this Saturday morning...

"Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. "
-- Evan Esar

And through all of my questioning, concerns and worries... I can't help to be really excited for this new chapter of our lives that is ahead.  I know that I will continue to learn everyday. Be filled with love and joy. And that I will just have to remind myself to breathe every once in a while.

"The most important thing she'd learned over the years was that there was no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one."
- Jill Churchill

Picky Eating...

We have problems with getting Kai to eat much of anything some days...let along something healthy! I swear he has been surviving on cheese strings and juice for the past while! I make him and Si dinner every night, and every night it ends up being that we make a second meal entirely, or, Ryan and I threaten bedtime if he doesn't sit and eat. It is brutal! He takes his "One a Day's" as he calls them, vitamins, to ensure he is at least getting the minimum from those nutrients, but otherwise, mention anything green and he pretty much runs the other way! It's to the point that about a month ago I actually had to take him for blood tests, I think harder on me then him, to check his iron levels and what-not. He was complaining of being tired, which if you know Kai, is totally NOT him; that along with his limited diet, we were concerned.
Tests are back and all things are normal....but now for the food...the HEALTHY food!
Tonight I made Kai and Si macaroni and cheese. A meal I know they both love to eat...but this time I made a few changes. I mashed up cauliflower, peas and carrots and mixed them together along with some milk, cheese and a little butter. This was the "sauce." I then baked it all together and melted a little more cheese.
And of course, had to top it with ketchup for extra enticement (well actually to hide as much of the green as I could).
Here is how it turned out:

I know, not totally appetizing in look...but I must have done something right!

He ate every last bite...without bribery or incentive. I WON THE DINNER WAR (for tonight).

So what's on their plate for tomorrow?

The Great Debate...

Enter the world of parenthood and everyday is filled with its own set of challenges.
Our current/upcoming topic that is a HUGE decision...preschool. Now the parenting begins and the playing is left till after school. Kai will be 3 in April and ready for his first year of preschool this September. These days, it is not only where to send your child, but at what age as well. There are some new "junior kindergartens" that take children as young as one. In essence it is a childcare facility at this age, yet they still have some structure to their days (as much as you can give a one-two year old!). The topic is on the table because over the next few weeks, registration begins!

We began our thoughts on this pretty quickly after Kai was born. The reason being, most of the good schools (yes, even preschools) have waitlists for years! If you can believe it, some actually register your name the minute you find out you are pregnant. A little excessive, I think yes! But to each their own.
We were originally thinking of sending him to a Junior kindergarten a few days a week starting this past fall. It didn't pan out for a few reasons and in the end I have been happy it didn't. What's the rush to send your baby to school so fast!? They have their entire lives to be there. Come the fall, I think he will be ready, and so will we by then.

Now for us, the decision is where...and why! Sienna follows Kai around everywhere. She loves to sit and read, and yet she loves to stick her hand in dirty diapers...yes discgusting! But she is a big factor in our equation of Kai and preschool. With Kai going a certain number of days/mornings a week, Sienna will still need to have a place to be. Currently, when I am working, the kids are with our part-time Nanny. She is fantastic and the kids love her, but realistically, we cannot afford to employ a nanny and pay for school; and so, our thoughts are leading us in the direction of a junior kindergarten where Sienna can be on the same "campus" as her older brother. The two of them can have the same schedule, and this in-turn makes a happy mom :-)

Here are some of my thoughts and "foreseen debates" that we are, and will be, dealing with:

- How many days a week
- Time of day (morning or afternoon)
Cost
- Preschool and part-time nanny
- junior kindergarten for both kids
- Preschool and daycare!?
Cost
curriculum
-Location
-Cost

For those of you who don't have children yet, or you do but you have not gotten to the stage of looking into preschools, they seem to charge an equivalent rate to University. Since the children are 1/4 to 1/2 the height of a grown adult, the tuition is reflected by 1/4-1/2 the price! Not really, but I figure, pretty damn close! So if we are shelling out this amount of money for our child's education and learning, I want to make sure that we are getting the most value for our dollar. Preschools are private and therefore you must pay...I can see another debate a few years in the future, private or public!?

We have looked into CEFA (Core Education and Fine Arts), and they offer some amazing things at their schools: from uniforms all the way down to meal planning. This is a Junior kindergarten. And here, the days are full from 9 to 5 if you want. Great for a working 9-5 parent, but not necessary for me...but maybe this is where the kids can go on the same 2 days a week and no more would be needed!??
Or do we go to preschool...there are some amazing ones in our neighbourhood: from Montessori programs to French immersion.
Wish us luck and please send thoughts, suggestions and advice...it is all welcomed and appreciated!

"It will be gone before you know it. The fingerprints on the wall appear higher and higher. Then suddenly they disappear." ~Dorothy Evslin

"Do the Potty Dance"

The time has come, to potty train Kai. He will be three is April and, well, quite frankly, I am tired of changing diapers. We began this process in the fall and he was actually doing really well...and then he reverted. Through reading as well as hearing through other people, I have heard this is a normal thing and that "when they are ready" they will let you know. Well, I think he is ready!? He asks occasionally to go to the "toi-yet" and we try to remind him that if he does he gets to have a treat. His choice is usually some Smarties. But not even chocolate tempts him some days. So our war against Kai's diapers has begun.
This morning, I took off his overnight diaper and put his pants on...no diaper. I came home the other day with another bag of the pull-ups training diapers, but even these don't tempt him enough. He somehow knows that he can still pee in these...and so commando it is!
For Christmas we got him some new big boy underwear "just like dad wears." he loves wearing these, over his diaper, because he knows he has to keep them dry; so today, they are going on!
It is just past 8:00 and so far we have made the trek to the potty three times...positive start!

We still have at least a few more months of diapers in our home with Sienna not quiet there yet; although, she already lets me know when she needs a new diaper and then runs to the toilet...already ahead of Kai in some ways. I am hoping this is a strong start for her and potty training.

Potty training is something that takes time and patience. I know that I am partly to blame for Kai still being in diapers. I have not yet put in the right time to continue his success, and so today we are starting with the time!

Here is a list I found from babycenter.ca on potty training boys. To each their own I guess, because I already see many discrepancies for us here!
1) Wait for the right moment

2) Let him watch and learn

3) Buy the right equipment

4)Help your child get comfortable with the potty

5)Buy him some cool pants

6) Set up a training schedule

7) Teach him to sit first, then stand

8 ) Set aside some naked time

9) Celebrate his successes

10) If at first he doesn't succeed, try, try again

11) Raise the fun factor

12) Move into night mode

13) Ditch the nappies completely

I definitely agree with #1. After having reverted, this is a true fact. Just because you are ready to train them at a certain time, does not mean that they are ready to learn. So make the time when they have shown their own signs of readiness!
For us, #2 on the list is not an option...I think he has had enough "learning time" in that department! Maybe to watch dad may give him his benefits now, but for those of you that recall a blog I wrote awhile back about Kai noticing the difference between girl and boy...#2 is not an option for me!
#3...of course you need the right things to train, but for some that list is huge and for others, all you need is a toilet (check) and some big boy underwear! Kai never took to sitting elsewhere in the house to use a "potty" and I never really had an interest in emptying a crap filled kids potty into the real thing, and so, he sits on the porcelain TOILET.
#7 seems to have come naturally to him...i guess he has watched daddy do it. I have to admit it was pretty cute watching him stand to pee, while actually having to stand on his tip-toes to shoot in the bowl.

So, to each their own. Good luck to all of you training or soon to be! I am sure there will be more on this subject in the near future, but for today, i am staying positive, and Kai is staying dry.

15 Step Program

I came across this "program" the other day and couldn't stop laughing in how true so much of it is!

This is a great test for all of those want to be parents in a very humorous way.

I don't fully adhere to lesson number 7 as I have vowed to never own a mini-van and am still holding strong...but discustingly dirty INSIDE AND OUT, it is!

This is kind of one of those lists that you wish was around when you were contemplating  child-bearing. But I do say that there are some essentials that have been left out. First read the published 15 step program, then I will fill you in on my additions...and my list seems to be growing, daily...no, by the minute!

The program is posted all over the internet and I am unsure who wrote the original, it may be "Mama Hippo."

Lesson 1

1. Go to the grocery store.
2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home.
4. Pick up the paper.
5. Read it for the last time.

Lesson 2

Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their…

1. Methods of discipline.
2. Lack of patience.
3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.
4. Allowing their children to run wild.
5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child’s breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior. Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.

Lesson 3

A really good way to discover how the nights might feel….

1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)

2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.

3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.

4. Set the alarm for 3AM.

5. As you can’t get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.

6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.

7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.

8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.

9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)

Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.

Lesson 4
Can you stand the mess children make? To find out..

1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
4. Then rub them on the clean walls.
5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.
6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?

Lesson 5
Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.
1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.

Time allowed for this – all morning.

Lesson 6

1. Take an egg carton. Using a pair of scissors and a jar of paint, turn it into an alligator.
2. Now take the tube from a roll of toilet paper. Using only Scotch tape and a piece of aluminum foil, turn it into an attractive Christmas candle.
3. Last, take a milk carton, a ping-pong ball, and an empty packet of Cocoa Puffs. Make an exact replica of the Eiffel Tower

Lesson 7
Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don’t think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don’t look like that.

1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there.
2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.
3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle Cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.
4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Lesson 8

1. Get ready to go out.
2. Sit on the floor of your bathroom reading picture books for half an hour.
3. Go out the front door.
4. Come in again.Go out.
5. Come back in.
6. Go out again.
7. Walk down the front path.
8. Walk back up it.
9. Walk down it again.
10.Walk very slowly down the sidewalk for five minutes.
11. Stop, inspect minutely, and ask at least 6 questions about every cigarette butt, piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue, and dead insect along the way.
12. Retrace your steps.
13. Scream that you have had as much as you can stand until the neighbors come out and stare at you.
14. Give up and go back into the house.
You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.

Lesson 9

Repeat everything you have learned at least (if not more than) five times.

Lesson 10

Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is also excellent). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week’s groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Lesson 11

1. Hollow out a melon.
2. Make a small hole in the side.
3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.

You are now ready to feed a nine month old baby.

Lesson 12

Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you’re thinking What’s “Noggin”?) Exactly the point.

Lesson 13

Move to the tropics. Find or make a compost pile. Dig down about halfway and stick your nose in it. Do this 3-5 times a day for at least two years.

Lesson 14
Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying “mommy” repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each “mommy”; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Lesson 15
Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt sleeve, or elbow while playing the “mommy” tape made from Lesson 14 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

Now, this post is probably not as laugh-out-loud funny to those that don't yet have children. This is over the top funny for those who do because we realize that there is significance in it all, and we have all experienced a variation of every number on the program in some form or another!

My additions based on personal experience:

Lesson 16

Never answer a phone call or attempt to phone anyone until it is after 730pm, before 7am or while in the car from your hands-free device while you are on your own. To talk above the screaming or fight with an infant over whom is holding the phone will only piss off the person on the other line.

Lesson 17

Know that any sense of SELF will be lost for at least the first 4-6 months of the child's life.  You are their food source (be it bottle or breast, they can't hold the bottle!), their support (to sit, to move, to roll, to see the world), you are their comfort. So much of this can be the most amazing feeling in the world, and at the same time, it can be the loneliest feeling. You are the WORLD to someone who can't tell you how much they appreciate what you are doing...and with those long days and nights and little to know sleep, you would kill for any form of a life of your own...honestly even a 10 minute coffee break, or better yet, NAP!

Lesson 18

Well, you're gone from your life, so what makes you think your relationship with your spouse or partner will remain the same!?

Children are amazing. They bring so much into a parents life...and being a parent, you embrace the good and the bad, the ups and the downs. Sometimes, it just helps to know what to look for to try to manage it all a little bit better =)

And if this list is a deterrent to anyone thinking of children...honestly, why would we keep going back for more if it was all so bad! I would not be the person I am today, the mom I am, the wife I am, the women I am, without having these two amazing kids of ours in my life.  They bring the love, the laughter, the strength and courage, the butterflies, the tears of joy and the smiles to my life. My life would not be complete without Kai and Si.

 

One last tip, said in the words of Rita Rudner: "My husband and I have decided to start a family while my parents are still young enough to look after them."   Thank you all so much! We are so fortunate to have our family around for support, love and help. We appreciate it and we know the kids do to!

Here are a few more quotes:

Making the decision to have a child is momentous.  It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.  ~Elizabeth Stone

It's not only children who grow.  Parents do too.  As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours.  I can't tell my children to reach for the sun.  All I can do is reach for it, myself.  ~Joyce Maynard

The one thing children wear out faster than shoes is parents.  ~John J. Plump

Life Happens

I want to write this for all of you moms out there. And one specific mom, an amazing woman,

thank you for being such a great friend.

 

Do you ever feel like your days pass by and you are barely accomplishing anything?

A girlfriend of mine is an amazing woman, an amazing mom to a beautiful little girl, an amazing athlete, works her a** off to help provide for the family and is at a point where she asks herself why...why is she busting her butt to get everything into a day when she feels at the end of that day none of it was really all that important. What is important, is to be enjoying her time with her daughter, her family.

As a women, a wife, a mom,  I completely understand where her words are coming from and where her heart is torn. It is sometimes all you can do to get through a day; and at the end of that day, life still happened.

"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.- John Lennon

I think this quote is perfectly suited to moms. We are ALWAYS making other plans. It feels like we try to fit our things "in" to OUR day so we can continue on getting the kids settled, the house clean, the bills paid and possibly even attempt to make some form of a living financially as well! We call a sitter so we can get an hour for a run, a coffee, a grocery shop, a NAP!  Dont get me wrong, I wouldn't change motherhood or my life with kids for ANYTHING in this entire world, but because of them it makes me question what truly is important in life and when to start living  life oppose to life living me.  Busy is something that will never change in my life. For me, with a 2.5 year old and a 1-year-old life just is, busy! It is figuring out what is important in life and where the priorities fall. I need to find that balance. I think this is where some of us moms, especially new moms, have a difficult time. You are living one life, then a little person enters your life and you have to find a balance that you are happy with and that allows you to still be your own self. A difficult transition, and maybe another article on that one day...

"The busy have no time for tears."-Lord Byran

This quote is hilarious to me! I feel the busier I am the more tears there are! Busy=Tired. Tired=Tears.  A simple equation that i am sure many moms would agree with. I know a few that I have shared some tears with...let them flow!

We do our best. I do my best. And as life happens I learn a little more with every moment. It is the little things in life that mean the most, and as life happens, so do I.