Are we all searching for a sense of community, of acceptance in some way? Constantly looking for those people that can relate. That understand, even if just a little, what you are going through...or why you do what you do?
I think that I have learnt over the past few years, that becoming a mother really solidified these questions for me. When you have no one around you that understands the journey of motherhood, the path that you take to get there, and what is on the other side, it can be a pretty lonely world to live in.
When I was pregnant with Kai, I had no friends that were anywhere near the realm of understanding. The first to marry, the first to become pregnant...and the first to have a child. Can you say, separation. It was a difficult thing to get used to. I was in awe of this new little being; of being a mom and loving something in a way I never knew possible. But there were other things that occurred in my life that I was not prepared for. Loss of friends. Loss of invitations to "hang-out." Suddenly, our new "family" was looked upon differently, and I suppose assumptions were made that a mom would not want to do the things she once did. Yes true on some levels, and so not true on others. I was lonely and isolated...and had no where to turn.
Over the next while, I began some new friendships that involved woman with children: other moms. I found some of my best bonds in different circles and feel so fortunate that I came out of a shell and searched for something new.
I have to admit, it is hard to make new friends. I mean honestly...unless you are in school, or start a new job, where do you meet people...a bar, craigslist!? For me, I have made some great friends following my passions...these people enjoy similar things. I think that is likely the key to lasting friendships. And in the world of parenthood...well that is an entirely different bond. Once you break from your shell and get out into the world, with a child, you can strike up a conversation at a playground or in the line of a grocery store for that matter!
I have found in my first years of motherhood, that moms have many similarities. We all love to talk about kids, moms, advice, husbands, wine ;)...and we are all looking for a piece of ourselves that isn't defined by the term mom or wife.
I have learnt that talking is a great outlet. That I love writing. And that getting together with other woman, even if all we do is talk baby, it is still a night out...for ourselves!
And so, I have decided to start a Moms Club. A networking evening once a month where we can get together. To talk kids, babies, pregnancy, life, husband/partners...really WHATEVER. And enjoy a nice glass of wine (ok maybe two) while doing it.
It is amazing how many ladies have told me this is exactly what they have been looking for... ladies, so have I. I am excited to do this...and to learn some tips on parenting, make stronger bonds and new friends along the way.
"
A good friend is cheaper than therapy." ~Author Unknown
So lets get together monthly, and be each others therapy! ;)
