Seeking Abs...

Why is it that every where we look, someone is selling the promise of a better looking body? This is exactly why people feel insignificance in themselves when they aren't the  "perfect" that is being sold. Me included.

As much as I try to hold confidence- as much as i tell myself that I am happy and confident in me…I still have the down times, the days or weeks that I fell not good enough. The number isn't low enough. the muscles aren't toned enough… WHY.

How am I always sold on A vision and not sold on THE vision of myself. I can say things, and I mean them…i think. I am a women. I am happy. I love and am loved. I treat myself well and hold health and exercise as a high priority in my life. Yet, I still have fat days.Yes FAT days... I have days that I wished I resembled the likes of Kate Hudson, Kara Goucher or Jen Aniston.

How can I change this mind. How can we all change our tinging thoughts that appear like bubbles from our mouths in a cartoon strip. How can I ensure that my daughters grow with a strong sense of self and worth. That they know that they are beautiful inside and out. That they are good enough, more than, and always will be…?

I am looking inside to learn more about me. Maybe locate where some of these feelings stem from. To try my hardest to lead my children down a path of no insecurities and high value.
I admire those that don't show form of insecurity- but i question…does everyone have there own war within themselves when it comes to image/body issues? I know its a more common place with women…but do men fight the same war in the same way?

Take a look at this youtube video for instance… humorous it is- but when looking at the bigger picture…why is it the women that are sold in a light that men are not.
I mean, sure, we as women enjoy looking at the likes of certain images- topless buff men or what have you- but it never seems to be as prevalent as it is in women.

I am realistic about many things. I logically get it. I have carried and am now raising three beautiful children in 3 years. I have a certain amount of time in the day. I have a life outside of workouts. I have energy levels that fluctuate. I don't always eat the best...
My body…what i put in it- what i get out of it…energy, moods…what makes me a better person, a better mom… I deal with different hormone imbalances that effect me in different ways- and slowly trying to figure these out will help my body from the inside out as well…but I am not lying when I say its a challenging road. I have to remind myself to be nice- to myself!- when I have thoughts of the not good enough image.

I give myself a break…and I am actually way more fit post kids than pre…but I still strive. I honestly don't think there is anything wrong with that. The will to work towards something. I think the issue is more in the fact of comparisons.  We are all different….to compare is not a reality. To set personal goals and work towards them- seeing your own results- is where the true reward lies…whatever that may look like to you.

Thank you for reading…and thanks for allowing myself to write my way through this! This is why I love writing, and wish i made more time to do it- I finally answered my own question…it just took a few hundred words and a lot of emotions.

and this is the perfect quote~

Playing Catch-up...

I think little by little I am learning that I cannot do all I used to anymore-
Sure, I may actually do more now as I try to juggle kids, myself, my relationship with my husband, work...life! But it is the things that used to always get done that seldom do anymore! For starters...my blog. I cannot believe I have not found the time to sit since NOVEMBER to write. It is something I love doing and yet, i have not made it a priority.  One of my New Years Goals- to blog at least twice a week. Here it goes!

This fall was a little overwhelming to say the least. Trying to balance family and life can sometimes get away from me...and I wish I could say I don't, but I beat myself up over it. Sure, I wish I could do it all, and I am sure I am not the only one that feels this way, but I am beginning to learn the necessity of being able to say no thank you. In a way, its a freeing feeling.

Anyways, this is my start to the New Year. I have set some GOALS...not resolutions. I am looking forward to 2013 in a great way! 13-one of my lucky numbers...and there is an entire year of it!

My 2013 Goals

set at least one family outing/event per week

minimum one date night a week with my husband

blog twice a week

qualify for the Boston marathon

open new business doors

and- last but not least...

...because life is too short to be anyone else!!

2013... WELCOME!

Self Acceptance...

Are we all searching for a sense of community, of acceptance in some way? Constantly looking for those people that can relate. That understand, even if just a little, what you are going through...or why you do what you do?

I think that I have learnt over the past few years, that becoming a mother really solidified these questions for me. When you have no one around you that understands the journey of motherhood, the path that you take to get there, and what is on the other side, it can be a pretty lonely world to live in.

When I was pregnant with Kai, I had no friends that were anywhere near the realm of understanding. The first to marry, the first to become pregnant...and the first to have a child. Can you say, separation. It was a difficult thing to get used to. I was in awe of this new little being; of being a mom and loving something in a way I never knew possible. But there were other things that occurred in my life that I was not prepared for.  Loss of friends. Loss of invitations to "hang-out." Suddenly, our new "family" was looked upon differently, and I suppose assumptions were made that a mom would not want to do the things she once did. Yes true on some levels, and so not true on others. I was lonely and isolated...and had no where to turn.
Over the next while, I began some new friendships that involved woman with children: other moms. I found some of my best bonds in different circles and feel so fortunate that I came out of a shell and searched for something new.
I have to admit, it is hard to make new friends. I mean honestly...unless you are in school, or start a new job, where do you meet people...a bar, craigslist!? For me, I have made some great friends following my passions...these people enjoy similar things. I think that is likely the key to lasting friendships. And in the world of parenthood...well that is an entirely different bond. Once you break from your shell and get out into the world, with a child, you can strike up a conversation at a playground or in the line of a grocery store for that matter!

I have found in my first years of motherhood, that moms have many similarities. We all love to talk about kids, moms, advice, husbands, wine ;)...and we are all looking for a piece of ourselves that isn't defined by the term mom or wife.

I have learnt that talking is a great outlet. That I love writing. And that getting together with other woman, even if all we do is talk baby, it is still a night out...for ourselves!

And so, I have decided to start a Moms Club. A networking evening once a month where we can get together. To talk kids, babies, pregnancy, life, husband/partners...really WHATEVER. And enjoy a nice glass of wine (ok maybe two) while doing it.

It is amazing how many ladies have told me this is exactly what they have been looking for... ladies, so have I. I am excited to do this...and to learn some tips on parenting, make stronger bonds and new friends along the way.

"A good friend is cheaper than therapy."  ~Author Unknown 


So lets get together monthly, and be each others therapy! ;)

A Dream and a Goal...

Lately I have really been missing exercise. And by that I mean, exercise at a higher level then my hourly sessions at the gym while pregnant. I still get there to get a sweat going, and it really does make me feel better...but I am talking about a workout that consists of my heartrate not sky-rocketing to high levels by barely doing anything and ligaments that don't throb from stretching with every run step I take.

I am currently dreaming of long runs, bike rides and future races.
What will 2012 have in store for me? I am leaning towards packing my schedule with Marathons...and maybe a 70.3 Ironman or two. I am excited just thinking about it!

Wouldn't today be the PERFECT day for a long run! The sun is shining, the temperatures are warming...our city is beautiful. For now, I will be heading across the street for an elliptical workout, dreaming of the run I will be doing in another handful of months.

I had to stop running a few weeks ago. The weight of my stomach was beginning to make every stride more uncomfortable: the feeling of ligaments stretching really isn't a nice feeling. I have also been experiencing sciatic pain this time around...which doesn't bode all too well with running. And so, the elliptical has become a close friend...and the occasional bike.

My husband is out for a long bike ride right now. Jealous! When he gets back we are trading off... bike outdoors or elliptical inside. Which one would you choose: i know, the answer would normally be a given!
I have to admit, when physical fitness is such a big part of your life, it's hard to loose the ability to do something so quickly. Especially when the desire is still there. Pregnancy is an AMAZING thing. It is amazing what a women's body goes through and produces, it truly is. But "you" are still in there. And for me, the "you" is missing the things that were taken for granted prior. Walking upstairs without being out of breathe. Standing up without getting light-headed. Running and biking with my husband.
I think what adds to the "missing" feeling, is watching the people around me continue to do it all. It's me wishing and missing, and them not really understanding how hard it is to suddenly S-T-O-P doing something that makes me a part of who I am.

Anyways...enough feeling down on myself, as that is not my intention here. I am excited to get out to move, period...and then enjoy this day with our family.

Maybe a picnic at the beach is in order!


 Just Click on It!!