A Year to Remember...

~November 7, 2012~

To my beautiful daughter T, on your First Birthday

Hard to believe a year has already come and gone. November 7, 2011 marked the special day you entered our lives. Every day since you have blessed us more than you will ever know.
Being the third child, you sure have been a real 'trooper' to say the least. Going wherever we were racing to get, putting up with copious amounts of noise, and definitely taking the brunt of some sibling jealousies- and yet through it all, you always have a huge smile that lights up from within and shines through your stunning big baby blues.
I remember being pregnant with you like it was yesterday. As all who know me know, I did not enjoy that stage. Sorry for that. Of course I loved the fact that I was bringing life to someone, to our daughter, but all the other not so glamorous side effects, i could have done without ;)
With the first born, parents seem to find a groove, get through the days, and try to not look to overwhelmed! With the second, you tend to not necessarily know more, but know what to stress on and where to just go with the flow. The new stress when entering the world of multiples is just that, learning how to cope with more than one.
And then came you. From day one, you have been a remarkably easy-going, laid back little girl. I think you made it easy on us! I have never been able to sit back and truly enjoy all of the baby stages the way I have with you. You astound me each and every day. From your first smile, to your first tear. From your first crawl, to your first step- third time around, I have found myself lingering- trying to take it all in so as not to forget a thing.
Thank you for making me slow down- to watch and to learn. To smile from my heart and through my eyes.

I love you my little girl. You are a gift and I am so lucky you have blessed my life.

I love you.
Happy 1st Birthday.

Love Mom.

5 months...

T hit her 5 month mark the same day Kai turned 4...

Happy Baby...

10 weeks!! T is 10 weeks old today.
Soon she will be crawling, walking...then adding to our brood of chaos. But for now, she is a happy, smiling baby...working on her voice to ensure to be heard above all others.
Try to resist the urge to smile ;)

Some Captured Moments...

Here are some images that were taken of our family and some newborn photos the other weekend.
T was 4.5 weeks.
Images by Karolina Turek.

She's already throwing punches!

"Have a Little Faith"...

As you probably know by now, me and time have a little "thing." There is never enough of it; and it goes by way too fast.
T is growing so fast: The kids are adapting well overall.: And we seem to be functioning well as a family of five.
To add to the chaos that is our life, it is Christmas time. A time that I love so much. I love the feelings the Holiday's bring. The cozy, warm feeling brought on by so much: the twinkling lights on the trees, the fireplace warming the house, lots of family and friend time...really the list is long. But who am I kidding, with the beauty of the season also comes some stresses...and in a household with children, colds.

I have had so little time to write lately, that really I don't know where to start! T is 6 weeks. Growing in every which way. A very healthy little girl. Her first smiles (not due to gas!) came last week. I remember this is the same week Si started to smile as well. When she looks at you and smiles, it really does melt your heart. The first form of a response you have from baby since birth. An amazing milestone!
Another milestone, she has already grown out of some of the newborn sized clothes...it makes me a little sad when you realize they really do grow up...and at this age literally growing fast. But it does mean she is healthy and gaining and growing well. Something to feel very thankful for.

The kids are adapting to T. They really are amazing with her. They try and help (as best they know how). They race to her to give her a soother (fight over who gets to do it), bring her blankets and toys, and enjoy holding her...mainly with our assistance!
Story here is, one afternoon I was holding T and put her down, in a different room than Si, to go help Kai for literally all of 20 seconds. When I returned, Si was sitting beside where I had put T down...but wasn't sitting beside her, she was holding her! She had snuck into the room, picked her up and held her in her arms. My God. My heart skipped a beat...thankfully all was fine. Amazing how perceptive kids are. Scary actually. But Si was holding her just as I have, supporting her head and all. And when at another time, when Ryan and I were there, Si showed us how she picked T up, her head was supported as she scooped from beneath. Phew. But never again do we leave Si in the same room as T alone...not even to pee. As a parent you quickly learn...there is little privacy and equally little alone time.
So yes, the kids love her. Kai is showing very little jealousy and is wanting to help and be with T as much as he can. Si, well she seems to be getting a bit better daily...but jealousy has and is there...as she has actually bit T's finger...twice.
Si is a biter. She and Kai fight, and she always wins because she takes a chomp and he comes up crying. We are trying to stop this, to obviously no success. Anyone had this problem!? What worked for you? We have heard bite back so they know how it feels...doesn't this defeat the purpose? Telling them no biting, yet doing it to them? Just a question! We need to kibosh this phase so open to suggestions!
So, in general, the kids are doing well with number three.

Kai just finished his first stint of school and is now on Christmas break. He missed three of the four last days last week as he has been sick...he is now on antibiotics with a chest cold, early possible ear infection and nasty cough. Si is sounding like our new family pet, a seal. Brutal bark...and now, bottle two of amoxicilon enter the house...Si is on it too. I figure, may as well be sick at the same time: Get it out and move forward all healthy, hopefully in time for Christmas...and then Maui!

Ryan and I have been doing well adapting to three kids as well. Yes, during the week he is in another room. Process of elimination, he is most comfortable on the airbed set up on the floor of the nursery...or if (well, more like when lately) one of the kids makes their way into bed with me...he moves to their bed. Although we are separated by room and bed, we are doing a great job at staying connected. The amount of help and support Ryan has been giving and offering has been amazing. I feel loved, supported and happy. We are best friends and thru this baby, the third, I feel we are getting it right and are closer than ever. I feel very lucky and very loved.

A mom of three. Pretty crazy. I still cant believe it; a little surreal, but amazing in itself. So far so good. The transition from two to three has been fine. I wouldn't say easy...but my reality is, one to two was harder. Currently, because all T does is eat, sleep and stay in one place unless moved, she is the easy one. She is a very easygoing babe...and a beautiful one if I do say so myself.  The chaos comes when T needs to be fed and the kids are demanding attention...Si is good at this demand lately. I am loving the girls version of terrible twos. So far, much more trying than Kai was...I guess they both have their own personalities...a good thing!

So as I make my way thru each day, with a husband 3 kids and a dog...I figure as long as I am doing my best, I am doing alright.

"Stand straight, walk proud, have a little faith"~Garth Brooks

T at Two Weeks...

The Best I Can...

T is 17 days today... and through the amazement of it all there have been some tough moments as well. I forgot how difficult some of the transition stages of babies can be. Honestly, I have adjusted fine to the know sleep regiment. Some how the nights end and the days are busy so the no sleep never has a time to get the better of me. Possibly it will creep up and bite me in the butt at some point, likely will, but for know...not a complaint!


I have had a pretty rough week adjusting to life with three and the needs and demands from each of them. I am striving to be the best mom I can be for my baby, for my children, yet feeling a little short in the wife department and self department. Forgot the pain in breastfeeding: both emotionally and physically. The feelings surrounding this issue really got the better of me over the past few days. T was and is a GREAT eater. She was a natural at feeding and had no problem ensuring my supply was going to be there... whether  she would feed on it or not. The problem was, there was so much there that my boobs were permanently engorged with no end in sight. I think this is something I could learn to live with, if I didn't want to hold my baby, pick up my kids, hug my husband or move without pain. I dealt with engorgement in my other post-pregnancies, but never to this extreme. And another big difference was that I didn't have two other little ones relying on me as well. After the first week of T being home, Ryan returned to work and I didn't have the same "luxury" to sit and nurse when she demanded it. I began to pump and feed which worked for a few days, until even more supply kicked in.


anyways, to jump to the last few days...the pain and emotions overwhelmed me when I couldn't hold T against me. I couldn't pick Si up cause she wanted a hug. And I couldn't turn around to help Kai buckle up his carseat in the car without pain. I wasn't being the best I could be...but I was trying desperately to be the best I could be for T and her milk needs.
I was holding an expectation for myself because I wanted to be better at something I wasn't very good at the first times round. I wanted to be able to feed her with ease and the ability. I wanted to know that this is something I can and could do. Apart of me also feared judgement from others if I didn't do it. I know that sounds...dumb? But when you are a mom, you learn that there is this world of "expectations" set upon you by those who think their ways are the only ways...and if you don't do it, well, something is wrong with you or you are not doing well for your child. I was loading myself with guilt.


My husband has been very supportive in whatever decision I make. To do or not to do. He helped me realized what I was doing, and how only I was putting the expectation on myself...and more importantly, that who really cares about the opinions of others on this matter. It is my matter. I can only do what is best for me and our family. Everyones circumstances are different and if people only acknowledged that, then there would be no judgement.  I made a decision that night. One that works for me and our family. I am not looking back, only forward: Confident in my decision. 


I am being the best mom for my three children. The best wife for my husband. The best Me.

And T makes Three...!!!

Monday November 7th; A day marked in our lives forever.
Our beautiful baby girl came into the world and captures our hearts.

("T" will be her used nickname for sake of my blog and our privacy).

T was born at 4:25pm on November 7, 2011 weighing in at an even 7 pounds. Her entrance was felt...for several hours leading up to her debut.

We are in awe of this new little person in our lives. She is so quiet. So cuddly. So tiny. So perfect.
Babies are a true gift from God in so many ways. One that we are so thankful for, is how they MAKE you slow down and take a look at life. What is important in life is all that matters. That there are so many wants in life, that we so often don't live in the present and hope and want for the future instead. She is making us slow down. To enjoy the moments and this time. To love. To be.

Kai and Si have been amazing with her as well. They came to the hospital after she was born and were so excited to see and meet her. They both wanted to hold her and give her kisses. Very curious of who this little being is and what she is doing in our world.

T's Birth Story:

Sunday November 6th was a day that felt different. Call it mothers intuition, call it whatever you want, but Sunday felt different and I had a feeling something, or should I say, someone was going to happen. To avoid "jinxing" anything I went about my day. Keeping busy, enjoying family and friends...anything and everything to keep my mind off baby-time...even had a pedi with a girlfriend!
There were little signs of things to come that were occurring throughout the day; from bigger Braxton Hicks and some real contractions to other things too gross to mention...but for those who have children will probably get my drift.
Starting at around 8pm I was having back spasms and time-able (milder) contractions. Over the course of the hour the discomfort ramped up and the in-family doc was called on for advice :)
By 9 on Sunday night the parents were called, my in-laws were on their way over to watch the kids...and 9:25 we were on our way to the hospital.

Contractions stayed at a regular interval but pain didn't increase. At 4am I decided to go home and see what would happen. No sleep as every now 10 minutes the pain would wake me up. At 7am I headed to walk the treadmill in hopes of speeding things along. It worked.
While walking the intensity picked up and the contractions were anywhere from 3-5 minutes in separation. We hung at home as I waited to see if they would get stronger. With a few contractions that brought tears to my eyes...it was time to return to the hospital. 10:15 am.

Contractions were definitely there, but not much change on the dilation side...so membranes were swept and within a minute, contractions ramped up to yet another level. A level of contraction pain I had never experienced before. And every 2 minutes for a couple of hours I labored along and she moved closer to entering our world.
My birth experiences for all three children have been incredibly different for each one. T made her pending arrival felt on a level I have never experienced before. Every time my back would seize, I knew to brace for another contraction...and with every contraction, trying to breathe while grabbing the edge of a chair, I was only hoping that she was making great progression...and desperately hoping my epidural was on it's way...FAST.
I was not trying to play God here. I was having a baby. I wanted to bring her into the world as best I could, as best as my body could, and for me, that included an epidural.
By the time the epidural came and kicked in, contractions stayed strong to continue the
process. I felt pressure instead of pain and when the time was getting closer, I could feel a little bit more. Within the course of a little over an hour I went from 4cm to 7cm to ready to push. Feeling MAJOR pressure in the nether- regions I knew it was push time. The pressure turned to sheer pain mixed with some last minute nerves and fear...and with a slight epi top off it was time to push. With every contraction I pushed...but she came fast. Once I was able to push her head through, I literally had to push a couple more times and she did the rest. From push time to baby, there were all of 10 minutes.
The pain and discomfort was quickly forgotten as T was in my arms and proud Dad was cutting the cord. Amazing. Pure joy...and a few tears had.

And now, here we are 1 week later already. The past week has been a blur as we have settled into life with three kids. Thank god for family and their HUGE support over this past time. We have had our moments of pure insanity...and a few glimmers of sanity and hope. Our home will never be the same. Forever changed, yet again...And we are loving every second.