Living for the moments...

Amongst the happenings of life, vacation is allowing me to find a little time for...me.
I feel as if days lately are just, lived. Lived to get through them. Lived to get to tomorrow. Lived to get to the next thing I/we are looking forward to. I am forgetting that instead of just living them and getting through them, it is important to ACTUALLY live them. Whether it's one thing in the day that was made with a point, just ensuring that all days are filled with many moments.
When did we begin to allow life to live us and stop living OUR life!? I find it to be a hard concept to grasp. Maybe it's because, when thinking about what I want out of life...I am still a little unsure. I find myself getting to one level, and then always looking for the next. Is this the culture we are raised in...always strive for more, to be better? In a way yes; but what about living in the present as well? Time to start enjoying the present a little more.
Ryan and I were talking not too long ago about life. We have two amazing kids, a third on the way, have been together for almost 12 years (a few weeks away!) and have so much to be thankful for. And yet, we feel our directions in life are sometimes steered too much by expectations and pressures from others, and not enough by ourselves: Recognizing this, we still feel a little...trapped, for lack of a better word. How do you, or maybe even, when do you stop this feeling, this cycle. For each I know this is a personal endeavor, and maybe the answer is we never truly do...maybe we will always be in search of another level...but while on this current level, this step of life, I am going to ensure I remind myself to stop...and enjoy it all. The little things: the sound of our kids playing, our kiss goodnight, the moments.

"live for the moments, not the memories."

And to add a smile to the end of this...a bit of a laugh.
I am sitting here in the sun...watching our kids run around nude in and out of their little pool...and our daughter is standing by a bush, taking a poop...followed by Ryan cleaning it, and her, up. A good laugh. A hilarious memory.
These are the moments.

To life. Enjoy yours!

Bedtime for Two...

I think I mentioned the other day how Si is finding pleasure in falling asleep in Kai's bed. Or rather, not always falling asleep; sometimes playing, talking, laughing, giggling, fighting, biting...not always "sleeping." Well, last night, two exhausted kids wanted to sleep in Kai's bed together; And that's what they did. They slept.
I had to capture this peaceful moment on camera. They were way too adorable, loving...and quiet!

Never Say Never...

Written March 5, 2011

Ryan and I have had a whirlwind couple, well handful, of years and just as we think we are finally settling... a curve ball is thrown.
A positive... a positive...!?
That in laments terms is, I peed on a stick and yep, I am pregnant!
Here's to three under three-and-a half...holy s*#t.

Here we were getting used to our life as a family of four, still not sure if "eventually" there would be more, but not totally set on that... and as life would have it, there was a plan for us I guess.

"A grand adventure is about to begin."
-- Winnie the Pooh
Our life is already crazy chaos, what is this new stage going to look like? I guess only time will tell. We will need to band together as husband and wife, mom and dad, and Kai and Si as sister and brother.

So many emotions/feelings sit inside of me right now, along with a fluttering stomach and slight bit of nausea. Oh my god, to start. Can we do this. How will we do this. Thank goodness I am working again. Will our new addition be a boy or girl? How will Si handle a baby (being the youngest). How will Kai and Si handle it as they are the best of friends right now. How is my husband handling the news I graced him with this Saturday morning...

"Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. "
-- Evan Esar

And through all of my questioning, concerns and worries... I can't help to be really excited for this new chapter of our lives that is ahead.  I know that I will continue to learn everyday. Be filled with love and joy. And that I will just have to remind myself to breathe every once in a while.

"The most important thing she'd learned over the years was that there was no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one."
- Jill Churchill

A little Nudity...

So, toddlers obviously have a fascination with running around naked. Really, as long as its around our house, I can get over that...no big deal. But I have a few developing issues that I need to nip in the butt (no pun intended).

For starters, Kai. If he does not have pants on, he enjoys sitting on the couch "playing." Awesome...are you serious! You are not even 3! My daily task is to ensure pants are on!
Si, well, you have all heard my problem with her... if she is not in her onesie, when the inevitable daily poop comes, she enjoys painting (with the poop!). It got so nasty that last week, while I was out working, Ryan texted me saying "call me." The minute he entered her room to get her from her nap, he was hit by a horrendous smell... and a baby standing in her crib, covered HEAD TO TOE (yep, even the face) in s*#t. All I could say was that I was happy to be at work! In hindsight... eventually it could have made for a pretty hilarious photo... maybe for one of those wedding day slide shows. Next time!

And then there is the problem of nudity together and opposite gender fascination. Well more so, female fascination. When Kai is nude, Si tries to run after him and "grab." Yes. That thing that hangs down from his body is such a foreign object that curiosity gets the best of her... I guess all is healthy in the wondering.

Gotta love the ages and stages!

Private Parts

It's the things that come out a child's mouth that can truly brighten your day. Children seem to make all the sense in the world and at the same time, no sense at all! They are so innocent and yet so guilty. And one thing that is for sure, they are VERY honest...and at the best of times, those honest moments lead to a smile, a laugh, and maybe a much-needed conversation.

Kai is quickly creeping up to 3! Hard to believe that in April I will have a three year-old. And with growing, his vocabulary as well as questions are starting to fly out of his mouth. I thought a few recent ones had to be shared. I hope they brighten your moment as much as they did mine.

A few days before Christmas, I was in my closet getting dressed to head out. I had our nanny that day, and the kids were both with her...until I heard a pitter-patter of feet running up the stairs. Kai was going to hang out with me until I left, apparently. So I started to get dressed. The next thing that happened...

"Mommy...?...You have no pee-pee!??"

Oh my gosh! Before I could respond with any form of an adult like answer, I burst into an abundance of laughter. And with the laughter came another

"Mommy...?...You have no pee-pee!??"

And after the second time, he ran out of the closet, hoped on the chair in our room, and continued watching cartoons.

This left me with many thoughts in my head. The first being, I guess shower time and dressing time is over in-front of my two and a half year-old son! The second was, wow what a great observation. And third was how maybe next time something like that happens I should have a prepared answer opposed to a morning ab workout :-)

He hasn't said anything again since, and he hasn't asked, but I have said "girl" and "boy" a lot more often and using his sister as an example to being different then he is. It is a funny thing, private parts and kids. And with both a son and a daughter, it is amazing how different they are in observation. Sienna is almost 16 months and I swear has noticed differences since the time she could walk, around 11 months. I have this time frame as a note because it was when I would be changing Kai's diaper that I would hear her little feet  making their way down the hall in enough time to attempt to grab Kai's "privacy" as he would call it, before the diaper was put back on. Yes, she made us both laugh with this attempt, but also made be realize that she was being very observant of the differences.  Until lately, Kai hasn't given any thought to his own "privacy," as Sienna will always try to grab her's as I change her diaper. Kai's form of self discovery lately has been with toys being shoved down his pants! What!?? Oh the things they do! 

So my lesson, to answer more questions for my kids and to maybe read a few more books on the subject of girl vs boy.

December 16th brought another moment for me when I had to take Kai to the Doctor's office. We had a morning just me and him, which was so nice because that really doesn't happen very often. We went to Starbucks where he enjoyed a hot chocolate, that I am sure was 50% whip-cream! Then with his backpack back on his back, we crossed the street in time for his appointment. On a side note, Kai never thought much of his backpack until his amazing Uncle came over to visit him one day, and he was wearing his backpack. Now, Kai will not leave the house without one. So now in the waiting room, with a CLEAN diaper, I am trying to keep Kai entertained as we await the arrival of the Doctor. And then, just as I began to smell something, Kai came out with a comment:

 



 

If it's not one thing...it's another!

Why does it feel like life is always, "if it's not one thing, it's another!"

Lately, LIFE begins to settle in one area and then LIFE begins building in the OTHER. If it's not you it's another that you are affected by.

My question, when does life become your own...for a year, for a minute, for a second...

I am quickly learning...it never does. If you have family, in ANY FORM, it never completely resides in your own hand; because, the minute you care for someone, family or friend, you never know where life will take you.

If it is not your life experience and learing, it is someone elses...

To the tears, the laughter, the love...

To learing...

To life... 

Thank you for tomorrow.

xo