Family...

We were able to get a few images captured by the lovely Jamie Lauren. Unfortunately the weather didn't cooperate with us that day so we will be having round two in the near future!
But for now, here are a few of the photos.

Holiday Moments Captured...

We had an amazing Holiday Season! Always busy. Always loud. Always full of love.
Here are some photos I captured through Christmas.
Thank you for all that were apart of our moments and memories. I feel so blessed for all I have and all I love. My family and friends mean more to me than I will ever be able to express in words.
Where does the time go...our kids are growing so fast...please slow down!
To another year- more memories- lots of love and laughter-xo

Gotta love cranky kids that make photos with Santa, family photos with Santa :-P

 Road Trips to Whistler:

(Thanks Jodi for capturing this fun tobogganing day!)

Lots of M-O-M time...

As of recently, or family life has changed dynamics a little. Ryan is back to the sky.

When we first met, some 13 years ago, my sexy boyfriend was going through school to become a pilot. He followed this endevour successfully for years and then due to some extenuating circumstances, Left the sky for ground for some years.
When that happened (pre kids) it was a change to our working dynamic. I was used to him being gone here and there: when he was gone I scheduled friend get-togethers and other life things sans the boyfriend...and eventually husband. But then, he stopped flying, and that was another schedule to get accustomed too.
I had to mention pre kids prior because that really changes the dynamic in either situation.  Anyways, as of lately I am truly so so proud of him and to be able to say he has returned part time to the sky!  A huge milestone and so happy for him and us on many levels.
However, the one thing I really have to get used to, him being gone! So before, when he flew...there were 0 children...now, there are 3... One parent, MANY activities, the 'whiney' years make for LONG days and LONG nights. When you are down to one, it feels even LONGER.

He is thankfully back from his trip, until next week: however put late most this week.
I think some more me time is in order, otherwise I may go crazy.

Is it normal to feel so overwhelmed by your own children sometimes!?  I love them. I love their moments. Their memories. However some days are way more trying than others. And some days, I feel like I an the yelling mom way more than I want to be.

I occasionally feel overworked and under valued so to speak. Working round the clock with 3 kids, still working  to help our family...stressing about work to help our family...I wonder some days when the break will come. I know that everyone had these days. I know that these days will come and go...but sometimes I just want to, well...scream. Sometimes, when I pile my plate so full, I feel like I have built an expectation by others to always work at that level. Like walking out of the hospital less than 20 hours after the birth to our 3rd baby...while on the phone dealing with an offer, is something 'normal.'  no down time.
No down time is a reality that parents have. It's a true fact. Just like worry. Your heart now lives outside your body...in your children; and suddenly, nothing else matters. They are, all that matters to you. Your family is what matters. And at the end of whatever type of day you have had, that really is, all that matters.

To my kids,
I am sorry some days my patience runs thin and my voice gets loud. I NEVER love you any less. I always love you with all my heart. Some days, I just let myself get the best of me.
I love you.
Mom

When to Jump...

Life's too short....live life to the fullest...follow your dreams...
Words of wisdom, of empowerment, we have all heard at one time or another.
But often, they are found in moments of need/want. They are brought to our attention to remember them....to fill a void...and then life continues on in a similar fashion that it tends to go.

When to you take those words as a metaphor for your own life...? When do you decide to make the jump?
I think much of life is filled with a series of mini jumps most days- but when I think of the wisdom words and phrases, to me I think of a broader scale.

I have sooooo much in life that I am thankful for. That I am happy with. That makes me wake daily and smile. My heart is filled with love and joy. Three amazing children and a husband that fills me up, how can I not be thankful, happy and full of love!

Yet I find I have a void that I have yet to fill...I feel I slowly creep in the direction of wanting to fill it, and then the back-burner is pulled forward and that's where my thoughts sit.

When do you, or better yet, how do you decide to just take the step and Jump!?
Maybe a part of not starting is to not fail...yet to not fail would mean not taking risk...and what is a world without risk...?
I feel lately, that more of my life is telling me to take time for me and find my path...to be thankful for health and happiness and to continue moving forward. 
I have been filled with stress and a sense of overwhelming bits for a while...and I need to slow down, find my happy and feel....100% complete. Self...I am staring you down.

I had a health scare as of late..one that found me in the small quarters of an MRI. Not a nice place to be. The physical space of the MRI machine ironically enough mirrors the way your mind feels in having to deal with thoughts of why you are there in the first place: your mind is confined to what the results will be, why you are having these symptoms in the first place...a narrow tunneled vision of what is wrong!?
Thankfully, my mind is clear and I can move forward knowing that. Now, to deal with the stress and high cortisol.
I have a feeling stress will always be a part of my life...come-on, three kids four and under, lol. But I am fine with that! What I am not good at is allocating time. I need to manage my time better to be the best I can be...in all aspects of my life. To not try and multi-task being superwoman...but to task being mom...being wife...being me...

This may sound a little corny...and I believe in a paraphrased sense, these words came from the mouth of Oprah, but, I can't wait to begin living my best life...


World, here I come...
Xo


(on my iPad- sorry for mis-spelling!)

Moments Captured...

Saturday was our family/maternity shoot. I love having our "Moments Captured" as we rarely all have a photo; and even more rare is when I am in them. It is nice to document "life" every so often.

Saturday however, was not the best of days. Si was not cooperating. Full on tears, barely let me put her down. Kai was good at the beginning and then was lost by the end. All in all...it was a frustrating shoot. I had all of these thoughts of images in mind, and none came to light. I was hoping for a nice belly/family shot, but one did not really arise.
Thankfully our photographer was able to capture some photos of us as a group...and a few solo images so the session wasn't a loss...but I guess that is what you get when you have a 3 and 2 year old to attend to.

It makes the shots even more realistic, lol. If only you could have had a birds eye view of the shoot itself...probably would have been good birth control!

I will share a few quick shots. Karolina Turek shot us, and will be sending us the edits later this week. I quickly edited a few to ensure our shoot produced something!? I am pleased with the ones she captured...and frankly, a little amazed, lol.

I look forward to her edits later this week and will share more then. For now... here is our expanding family. I will see if any of her edits are "pg" enough to post ;) Here is the family for now.

Another week closer....34 WEEKS!

Bump Picture.

Thank you to Karolina Turek for helping us capture some memories :)


 

Living for the moments...

Amongst the happenings of life, vacation is allowing me to find a little time for...me.
I feel as if days lately are just, lived. Lived to get through them. Lived to get to tomorrow. Lived to get to the next thing I/we are looking forward to. I am forgetting that instead of just living them and getting through them, it is important to ACTUALLY live them. Whether it's one thing in the day that was made with a point, just ensuring that all days are filled with many moments.
When did we begin to allow life to live us and stop living OUR life!? I find it to be a hard concept to grasp. Maybe it's because, when thinking about what I want out of life...I am still a little unsure. I find myself getting to one level, and then always looking for the next. Is this the culture we are raised in...always strive for more, to be better? In a way yes; but what about living in the present as well? Time to start enjoying the present a little more.
Ryan and I were talking not too long ago about life. We have two amazing kids, a third on the way, have been together for almost 12 years (a few weeks away!) and have so much to be thankful for. And yet, we feel our directions in life are sometimes steered too much by expectations and pressures from others, and not enough by ourselves: Recognizing this, we still feel a little...trapped, for lack of a better word. How do you, or maybe even, when do you stop this feeling, this cycle. For each I know this is a personal endeavor, and maybe the answer is we never truly do...maybe we will always be in search of another level...but while on this current level, this step of life, I am going to ensure I remind myself to stop...and enjoy it all. The little things: the sound of our kids playing, our kiss goodnight, the moments.

"live for the moments, not the memories."

And to add a smile to the end of this...a bit of a laugh.
I am sitting here in the sun...watching our kids run around nude in and out of their little pool...and our daughter is standing by a bush, taking a poop...followed by Ryan cleaning it, and her, up. A good laugh. A hilarious memory.
These are the moments.

To life. Enjoy yours!