Seeking Sleep...

Our house has been rather sleepless for the last few months. Our wonderfully sleeping baby took a turn when we went on vacation...then got sick- and has never come back from the dark side! My husband and I have found a daily routine of walking zombie for the past while...and we finally decided that we cannot do it any more! The thing is, it wasn't just T...it started with her- then she would generally wake Si up- who would then end up in bed with us as well. Sleepless nights, after nights, after nights.
I am sure many of you have seen the following photo before- and for those sans kids...there is truth in EVERY morsel of this depiction:

I love looking through magazines and finding photos depicting the sleeping family all cuddled closely...really!!!?? Who finds this comfortable!?
In our house...child wins every time. They continuously kick the crap out of my husband until he is forced out of our bed and into one of the kids beds...thankfully they are singles and not toddler beds- but yes, they do have guard rails. I am sure that spells comfort on many levels: Not to mention the waterproof mattress pad beneath to ensure no mess gets through from the kids- this is only a sweat producing, uncomfortable sleep pad for us adults.

Last week we threw our hands up and decided that we had to commence sleep training and find our sleep again! This is a favorite book- but unfortunately not one to read to the kids.

I think the icing on the cake was when T was asleep in our bed with us, and Kai came in feeling sick and proceeded to puke all over her- don't worry, she stayed sleeping. ;-)
So entered Helen Sands- our plan arrived Friday and our training commenced on Saturday.
Some crying was involved...along with one LONG night on Saturday...but something has happened already as we had a glimpse of the future last night- she slept through the night with one very brief sound at midnight...and we woke up more rested.
Here's to hoping we are on the right track!

Funky Town...

Pardon the title, I still had Tuesday nights episode of Parenthood in my head.

This topic may make some uncomfortable; and knowing my parents read this, its making me a little uncomfortable!

SEX...TOYS. Yes, that is the nature of this blog. A topic that many people speak of...behind closed doors!  Mom and Dad, sorry to be blogging sex toys...but yes, kids are the product of the act with my husband :-P

Well today, I am bringing it to you because an old friend from high school days has launched a new business targeting this marketplace...A business that is huge already, forever growing, and rarely spoken openly about.

Que, the LuvBox.

Luvmybox is a monthly subscription that ships to your door a discrete black box filled with 'fun and flirty products' that will 'let your imagination get the best of you.'  They promise a new experience every month by offering different products to cater to your every mood.

Photo above not one from Luv my Box

The best part about Luvmybox, aside from its awesome name, you don't know what will be in the LuvBox...adding to the excitement yet again.

The sex toy industry is a multi BILLION dollar industry throughout North America, and yet is one that is not talked about often...nor without a red flush across our cheeks. For the ones that will admit to going into a sex store, most find themselves slightly embarrassed for being in there. In such an open culture, we generally are quite the prudes!
I love the concept of this product as it gives you a product, a thrill of wonderment, excitement...and then something new to 'try.' Adding spice to your love life is always a bonus, right!? Giving a new spin to the passion parties: with more excitement and intimacy!

For me, a mom with three young kids...my husband and I lack the element of adventure often. Finding time while not being exhausted is limited! I think this will be something that we can both enjoy from receiving the package to discovering what the months Theme is!

With the book "Fifty Shades of Grey" having won may peoples hearts...and aided to many peoples love lives, the first edition of the LuvBox was themed after this popular trilogy.

I cant wait for my first box to arrive...wonder what's gonna be inside!

So, would you try this service??
It will be interesting to find out how many will admit to it...

One thing's for sure... this is an expense I don't think my husband will question ;)


To order yours, or find out more, check out:
Luv my Box

Self Acceptance...

Are we all searching for a sense of community, of acceptance in some way? Constantly looking for those people that can relate. That understand, even if just a little, what you are going through...or why you do what you do?

I think that I have learnt over the past few years, that becoming a mother really solidified these questions for me. When you have no one around you that understands the journey of motherhood, the path that you take to get there, and what is on the other side, it can be a pretty lonely world to live in.

When I was pregnant with Kai, I had no friends that were anywhere near the realm of understanding. The first to marry, the first to become pregnant...and the first to have a child. Can you say, separation. It was a difficult thing to get used to. I was in awe of this new little being; of being a mom and loving something in a way I never knew possible. But there were other things that occurred in my life that I was not prepared for.  Loss of friends. Loss of invitations to "hang-out." Suddenly, our new "family" was looked upon differently, and I suppose assumptions were made that a mom would not want to do the things she once did. Yes true on some levels, and so not true on others. I was lonely and isolated...and had no where to turn.
Over the next while, I began some new friendships that involved woman with children: other moms. I found some of my best bonds in different circles and feel so fortunate that I came out of a shell and searched for something new.
I have to admit, it is hard to make new friends. I mean honestly...unless you are in school, or start a new job, where do you meet people...a bar, craigslist!? For me, I have made some great friends following my passions...these people enjoy similar things. I think that is likely the key to lasting friendships. And in the world of parenthood...well that is an entirely different bond. Once you break from your shell and get out into the world, with a child, you can strike up a conversation at a playground or in the line of a grocery store for that matter!

I have found in my first years of motherhood, that moms have many similarities. We all love to talk about kids, moms, advice, husbands, wine ;)...and we are all looking for a piece of ourselves that isn't defined by the term mom or wife.

I have learnt that talking is a great outlet. That I love writing. And that getting together with other woman, even if all we do is talk baby, it is still a night out...for ourselves!

And so, I have decided to start a Moms Club. A networking evening once a month where we can get together. To talk kids, babies, pregnancy, life, husband/partners...really WHATEVER. And enjoy a nice glass of wine (ok maybe two) while doing it.

It is amazing how many ladies have told me this is exactly what they have been looking for... ladies, so have I. I am excited to do this...and to learn some tips on parenting, make stronger bonds and new friends along the way.

"A good friend is cheaper than therapy."  ~Author Unknown 


So lets get together monthly, and be each others therapy! ;)

Never Say Never...

Written March 5, 2011

Ryan and I have had a whirlwind couple, well handful, of years and just as we think we are finally settling... a curve ball is thrown.
A positive... a positive...!?
That in laments terms is, I peed on a stick and yep, I am pregnant!
Here's to three under three-and-a half...holy s*#t.

Here we were getting used to our life as a family of four, still not sure if "eventually" there would be more, but not totally set on that... and as life would have it, there was a plan for us I guess.

"A grand adventure is about to begin."
-- Winnie the Pooh
Our life is already crazy chaos, what is this new stage going to look like? I guess only time will tell. We will need to band together as husband and wife, mom and dad, and Kai and Si as sister and brother.

So many emotions/feelings sit inside of me right now, along with a fluttering stomach and slight bit of nausea. Oh my god, to start. Can we do this. How will we do this. Thank goodness I am working again. Will our new addition be a boy or girl? How will Si handle a baby (being the youngest). How will Kai and Si handle it as they are the best of friends right now. How is my husband handling the news I graced him with this Saturday morning...

"Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. "
-- Evan Esar

And through all of my questioning, concerns and worries... I can't help to be really excited for this new chapter of our lives that is ahead.  I know that I will continue to learn everyday. Be filled with love and joy. And that I will just have to remind myself to breathe every once in a while.

"The most important thing she'd learned over the years was that there was no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one."
- Jill Churchill

Spring Cleaning...

Another "thing to do" on my list (you do not want to see my list; it seems to expand rapidly and never shrink). We have lots of things to clear out and I was thinking of having a "garage sale/friend swap." Who's in!? It's time to lighten the load in closet space and clear out the odds and ends sitting in our crawl-space.
We have kids/baby clothes, toys, men and women clothes, books, carpets...i don't even know what else! Another great reason to give it to a good home! (If we don't even know we have it, why do we have it!?).

Over the next little while I am going to organize...was thinking for a weekend (Saturday) in April.
If anyone is interested in bringing stuff and/or coming to check stuff out, let me know and I will see if I can organize a bigger "swap meet" for us all!

Happy Spring Cleaning...
For the Martha Stewart in you...here is her Spring Cleaning Checklist. Clearly, she has WAY to much time on her hands! Like any of that is likely in my house...my suggestions #1-800-house-cleaners! ;-)

Don't forget to Spring Forward TONIGHT!

A little Nudity...

So, toddlers obviously have a fascination with running around naked. Really, as long as its around our house, I can get over that...no big deal. But I have a few developing issues that I need to nip in the butt (no pun intended).

For starters, Kai. If he does not have pants on, he enjoys sitting on the couch "playing." Awesome...are you serious! You are not even 3! My daily task is to ensure pants are on!
Si, well, you have all heard my problem with her... if she is not in her onesie, when the inevitable daily poop comes, she enjoys painting (with the poop!). It got so nasty that last week, while I was out working, Ryan texted me saying "call me." The minute he entered her room to get her from her nap, he was hit by a horrendous smell... and a baby standing in her crib, covered HEAD TO TOE (yep, even the face) in s*#t. All I could say was that I was happy to be at work! In hindsight... eventually it could have made for a pretty hilarious photo... maybe for one of those wedding day slide shows. Next time!

And then there is the problem of nudity together and opposite gender fascination. Well more so, female fascination. When Kai is nude, Si tries to run after him and "grab." Yes. That thing that hangs down from his body is such a foreign object that curiosity gets the best of her... I guess all is healthy in the wondering.

Gotta love the ages and stages!

15 Step Program

I came across this "program" the other day and couldn't stop laughing in how true so much of it is!

This is a great test for all of those want to be parents in a very humorous way.

I don't fully adhere to lesson number 7 as I have vowed to never own a mini-van and am still holding strong...but discustingly dirty INSIDE AND OUT, it is!

This is kind of one of those lists that you wish was around when you were contemplating  child-bearing. But I do say that there are some essentials that have been left out. First read the published 15 step program, then I will fill you in on my additions...and my list seems to be growing, daily...no, by the minute!

The program is posted all over the internet and I am unsure who wrote the original, it may be "Mama Hippo."

Lesson 1

1. Go to the grocery store.
2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home.
4. Pick up the paper.
5. Read it for the last time.

Lesson 2

Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their…

1. Methods of discipline.
2. Lack of patience.
3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.
4. Allowing their children to run wild.
5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child’s breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior. Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.

Lesson 3

A really good way to discover how the nights might feel….

1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)

2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.

3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.

4. Set the alarm for 3AM.

5. As you can’t get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.

6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.

7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.

8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.

9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)

Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.

Lesson 4
Can you stand the mess children make? To find out..

1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
4. Then rub them on the clean walls.
5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.
6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?

Lesson 5
Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.
1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.

Time allowed for this – all morning.

Lesson 6

1. Take an egg carton. Using a pair of scissors and a jar of paint, turn it into an alligator.
2. Now take the tube from a roll of toilet paper. Using only Scotch tape and a piece of aluminum foil, turn it into an attractive Christmas candle.
3. Last, take a milk carton, a ping-pong ball, and an empty packet of Cocoa Puffs. Make an exact replica of the Eiffel Tower

Lesson 7
Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don’t think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don’t look like that.

1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there.
2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.
3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle Cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.
4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Lesson 8

1. Get ready to go out.
2. Sit on the floor of your bathroom reading picture books for half an hour.
3. Go out the front door.
4. Come in again.Go out.
5. Come back in.
6. Go out again.
7. Walk down the front path.
8. Walk back up it.
9. Walk down it again.
10.Walk very slowly down the sidewalk for five minutes.
11. Stop, inspect minutely, and ask at least 6 questions about every cigarette butt, piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue, and dead insect along the way.
12. Retrace your steps.
13. Scream that you have had as much as you can stand until the neighbors come out and stare at you.
14. Give up and go back into the house.
You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.

Lesson 9

Repeat everything you have learned at least (if not more than) five times.

Lesson 10

Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is also excellent). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week’s groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Lesson 11

1. Hollow out a melon.
2. Make a small hole in the side.
3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.

You are now ready to feed a nine month old baby.

Lesson 12

Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you’re thinking What’s “Noggin”?) Exactly the point.

Lesson 13

Move to the tropics. Find or make a compost pile. Dig down about halfway and stick your nose in it. Do this 3-5 times a day for at least two years.

Lesson 14
Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying “mommy” repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each “mommy”; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Lesson 15
Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt sleeve, or elbow while playing the “mommy” tape made from Lesson 14 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

Now, this post is probably not as laugh-out-loud funny to those that don't yet have children. This is over the top funny for those who do because we realize that there is significance in it all, and we have all experienced a variation of every number on the program in some form or another!

My additions based on personal experience:

Lesson 16

Never answer a phone call or attempt to phone anyone until it is after 730pm, before 7am or while in the car from your hands-free device while you are on your own. To talk above the screaming or fight with an infant over whom is holding the phone will only piss off the person on the other line.

Lesson 17

Know that any sense of SELF will be lost for at least the first 4-6 months of the child's life.  You are their food source (be it bottle or breast, they can't hold the bottle!), their support (to sit, to move, to roll, to see the world), you are their comfort. So much of this can be the most amazing feeling in the world, and at the same time, it can be the loneliest feeling. You are the WORLD to someone who can't tell you how much they appreciate what you are doing...and with those long days and nights and little to know sleep, you would kill for any form of a life of your own...honestly even a 10 minute coffee break, or better yet, NAP!

Lesson 18

Well, you're gone from your life, so what makes you think your relationship with your spouse or partner will remain the same!?

Children are amazing. They bring so much into a parents life...and being a parent, you embrace the good and the bad, the ups and the downs. Sometimes, it just helps to know what to look for to try to manage it all a little bit better =)

And if this list is a deterrent to anyone thinking of children...honestly, why would we keep going back for more if it was all so bad! I would not be the person I am today, the mom I am, the wife I am, the women I am, without having these two amazing kids of ours in my life.  They bring the love, the laughter, the strength and courage, the butterflies, the tears of joy and the smiles to my life. My life would not be complete without Kai and Si.

 

One last tip, said in the words of Rita Rudner: "My husband and I have decided to start a family while my parents are still young enough to look after them."   Thank you all so much! We are so fortunate to have our family around for support, love and help. We appreciate it and we know the kids do to!

Here are a few more quotes:

Making the decision to have a child is momentous.  It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.  ~Elizabeth Stone

It's not only children who grow.  Parents do too.  As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours.  I can't tell my children to reach for the sun.  All I can do is reach for it, myself.  ~Joyce Maynard

The one thing children wear out faster than shoes is parents.  ~John J. Plump