A Year to Remember...

~November 7, 2012~

To my beautiful daughter T, on your First Birthday

Hard to believe a year has already come and gone. November 7, 2011 marked the special day you entered our lives. Every day since you have blessed us more than you will ever know.
Being the third child, you sure have been a real 'trooper' to say the least. Going wherever we were racing to get, putting up with copious amounts of noise, and definitely taking the brunt of some sibling jealousies- and yet through it all, you always have a huge smile that lights up from within and shines through your stunning big baby blues.
I remember being pregnant with you like it was yesterday. As all who know me know, I did not enjoy that stage. Sorry for that. Of course I loved the fact that I was bringing life to someone, to our daughter, but all the other not so glamorous side effects, i could have done without ;)
With the first born, parents seem to find a groove, get through the days, and try to not look to overwhelmed! With the second, you tend to not necessarily know more, but know what to stress on and where to just go with the flow. The new stress when entering the world of multiples is just that, learning how to cope with more than one.
And then came you. From day one, you have been a remarkably easy-going, laid back little girl. I think you made it easy on us! I have never been able to sit back and truly enjoy all of the baby stages the way I have with you. You astound me each and every day. From your first smile, to your first tear. From your first crawl, to your first step- third time around, I have found myself lingering- trying to take it all in so as not to forget a thing.
Thank you for making me slow down- to watch and to learn. To smile from my heart and through my eyes.

I love you my little girl. You are a gift and I am so lucky you have blessed my life.

I love you.
Happy 1st Birthday.

Love Mom.

The Best I Can...

T is 17 days today... and through the amazement of it all there have been some tough moments as well. I forgot how difficult some of the transition stages of babies can be. Honestly, I have adjusted fine to the know sleep regiment. Some how the nights end and the days are busy so the no sleep never has a time to get the better of me. Possibly it will creep up and bite me in the butt at some point, likely will, but for know...not a complaint!


I have had a pretty rough week adjusting to life with three and the needs and demands from each of them. I am striving to be the best mom I can be for my baby, for my children, yet feeling a little short in the wife department and self department. Forgot the pain in breastfeeding: both emotionally and physically. The feelings surrounding this issue really got the better of me over the past few days. T was and is a GREAT eater. She was a natural at feeding and had no problem ensuring my supply was going to be there... whether  she would feed on it or not. The problem was, there was so much there that my boobs were permanently engorged with no end in sight. I think this is something I could learn to live with, if I didn't want to hold my baby, pick up my kids, hug my husband or move without pain. I dealt with engorgement in my other post-pregnancies, but never to this extreme. And another big difference was that I didn't have two other little ones relying on me as well. After the first week of T being home, Ryan returned to work and I didn't have the same "luxury" to sit and nurse when she demanded it. I began to pump and feed which worked for a few days, until even more supply kicked in.


anyways, to jump to the last few days...the pain and emotions overwhelmed me when I couldn't hold T against me. I couldn't pick Si up cause she wanted a hug. And I couldn't turn around to help Kai buckle up his carseat in the car without pain. I wasn't being the best I could be...but I was trying desperately to be the best I could be for T and her milk needs.
I was holding an expectation for myself because I wanted to be better at something I wasn't very good at the first times round. I wanted to be able to feed her with ease and the ability. I wanted to know that this is something I can and could do. Apart of me also feared judgement from others if I didn't do it. I know that sounds...dumb? But when you are a mom, you learn that there is this world of "expectations" set upon you by those who think their ways are the only ways...and if you don't do it, well, something is wrong with you or you are not doing well for your child. I was loading myself with guilt.


My husband has been very supportive in whatever decision I make. To do or not to do. He helped me realized what I was doing, and how only I was putting the expectation on myself...and more importantly, that who really cares about the opinions of others on this matter. It is my matter. I can only do what is best for me and our family. Everyones circumstances are different and if people only acknowledged that, then there would be no judgement.  I made a decision that night. One that works for me and our family. I am not looking back, only forward: Confident in my decision. 


I am being the best mom for my three children. The best wife for my husband. The best Me.

With Age Comes Experience...

This statement was just used in an article speaking of Sarah Jessica Parker and motherhood (click here to take you to the article on modernmom.com). I have to dispute this line a bit.
With kids come experience in the field of children. Not age. Nothing will ever fully prepare you for children until you have them. Not age. Not time. Not career.


Sure, you may be able to give your children more... more life experience lessons, more financially. Who knows! To each their own. Everyone is at a different point in the personal lives at any age.
My feelings; Age and Experience with regards to motherhood is inaccurate.

I am learning daily. My kids teach me daily. I constantly surprise myself; and they constantly surprise me.

Every day is a learning experience. Whether you are 20 or 40.

Thoughts?!










PLEASE DONT FORGET TO CLICK BELOW TODAY :)

Emotional Ride to Whistler...

Wow. I cannot believe it is already Wednesday. Nearly a week since I last blogged. So much to write about and so many things to express, yet my mind and body have not been linking together well these past few days and I have not found much time, nor the energy, to type... I am dying to get things down, but am having problems finding the right words to express myself.

Lets start easy and see where it goes.

Thank you again to Kristi Gordon for her interview last week for the featured Celebrity Mom Interview! It is always fun to catch a glimpse into the busy lives of other woman (mom, mom to be, or not at all!). I find sometimes glimpses of other peoples lives helps to put our own lives in perspective in some odd way.

As for life and what has been going on over here. Well, my husband is officially 3-0! We celebrated last weekend with the family as he rang in the new digit. Too much food, good wine, some amazing gifts...and one not so great one.

Unfortunately, the art of surprise to my husband isn't really a good thing. I am not going into any great detail here, lets just say, I thought that a surprise trip to an undisclosed location sans kids would be an amazing gift for him...and us.  A nice thought and gesture wasn't received the way I had "expected" it to...and thus, a weekend blow-out and emotional exhaustion for the two of us, beyond any we had experienced in a long...LONG...time.
Life can be full of surprises. And his birthday came with one for both of us. Never in my wildest dreams did I think my plans would cause any form of argument, sadness or anger. And it did all of the above. That is the funny thing about expectation. Even when you know someone, you cant necessarily "expect" things. Be it a reaction, an outcome, a gesture or a gift. The minute you take your own expectation out of the equation, you wont get hurt, saddened, angered or disgruntled along the way. It is something that seems so simple, yet is the hardest thing to accomplish.

Putting the past behind us, we picked up our bruised hearts and broken egos and continued on with time for just the two of us; only looking a little different in location to me...but with the same intent. To spend time with my husband...just the two of us.

And so, here we are in a wonderful part of our province, even more beautiful on a hot sunny day, spending time together:laughing, talking and re-kindling the love that was hiding behind anger over the past few days.

It is amazing what you can allow to escalate and argue about when feelings get hurt and exhaustion takes over.

The tears are gone and the smiles are here.
The clock has been reading 8:30 am..instead of 6:30 with the kids. The work emails and phone calls have been minimal. The food has been made for us. I have only done one load of laundry. We are relaxing.

And so we are enjoying our mini-vacation. With the kids never too far out of thought. They are in most of our conversations.
Once a parent always a parent. Always wanting a mini moment to yourself, but missing them the entire time you get it.

To Life. To Love. To Happiness.

Wine, yes please...

I am having "one of those days." I am sure some of you mom's can relate...well at least, I am hoping you can relate and that I am not alone in this feeling!
My kids are driving me crazy. To the point where I would like to play hide and seek and hide with my computer in such a great place that they cant find me for a long while!
This afternoon has been a WHINE-FEST by both of them! Everything they want, do or don't do apparently warrants a whine and some tears. These past hours have felt like days.
And then when I go to sit and have a few minutes of peace, or just try to get some work done, they decide to follow me, climb on me or bite me...this is Si's new thing.
This has been one long afternoon and it isn't over yet.
With their whine's I am longing for an amazing glass of wine...t-minus too many more months, and counting!

Sometime when I am felling this way I feel like such a bad mom; that I should be able to not only handle, but enjoy my kids. I honestly do love, enjoy and have lots of fun with them. There are just those moments (well sometimes hours) that I allow my children to rule my emotions...and drive me a little crazy!



Si climbing up my legs



Si literally climbing on me.

It's almost 5:00...and you know what that means, Ryan is almost home! These monkeys need a new monkey to climb on!

Sticky Fingers...

Yesterday was a long day. From poop and cranky kids starting the day, to Si learning how to continuously climb out of her crib to end it. It was a long one...one that maybe in a few more days I will be able to laugh about.
As for today, so far, I think it is going a lot better. As Ryan is leaving for work, we both turn around to see Si's finger up Kai's nose. Yep, that's right; Si was picking Kai's nose for him. And the gong show at our house begins.
Today, amongst a few work and personal appointments, I have a few stops to make.
1) to get diaper covers @ the suggestion of another mom. Maybe this will help the no-poop brigade!?
2) to get a crib cover...in case the suggestion of turning the high part of the crib to the front doesn't hold her in.
I am not being defeated by a pack of monkeys tonight! Or today for that matter!

Time to organize and get these booger-fingered kids to grandmas house for a few hours of my own sanity today.

Happy Thursday!

Have a little faith...

My domain whiletheyaresleeping.com is now officially up and running. I am so happy! It actually happened early this week, but this week has completely gotten away from me.

I had a bit of a rough time last week; between dealing with Sienna, dealing with the kids in general (!), and feeling down on myself, it was a hard one...
I was getting really frustrated on myself with regards to work. Trying to figure out how I was going to do it, and what I was going to do at all! And then it kind of just happened...as if the stars just aligned!? I had three opportunities come at me in one day...and another on Monday!
Isn't it weird how things like that happen? I find that I couldn't be stressing harder, worrying myself, and thinking so negatively...and then my hard work and patience (ya right) start to pay off, and in the course of a few days, I have a new listing, and a few other avenues that I will have more to say about soon! This week has been a crazy one...run of my feet with things to get done...and still a list 10 pages long to complete; but I am taking it as it comes, one step at a time. I guess the lesson being, have a little faith and keep on walking!

"Faith is one foot on the ground, one foot in the air, and a queasy feeling in the stomach." — Mother Angelica
"What saves a man is to take a step. Then another step." — C.S. Lewis

I have been trying to get here to write, but with best intentions at hand, there hasn't been enough time in the day (and in a little over a week, there will be even one less hour in our day)!!

I will be back to post again soon...but I will leave you with this to look forward to.  In honour of my domain going live, I will be having a giveaway soon. Let you know all the details and what it is...in the next post.

I am taking some time for me this morning...gotta log some miles on my feet. Time for some sanity :-)
Happy Thursday!

"To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funnybone."
Reba McEntire

To another year of love, laughter, tears and joy...goodbye 2010, hello 2011.

With 2010 now two days in the past I sit here reminiscing it in its entirety. With the question being posed, "was 2010 a good year," and "what was the best part" I am still dumbfounded in how to answer these questions. 2010 brought me much adversity, tears, laughter, love, joy and hope. Without the downs I know that I would not be where I am today nor be the person those struggles turned me into being. I thank the downs and the struggles for developing me into who I am today and allowing me to find the strength in myself to prove that I can do it.
January 2010 started with a bang, in Maui to be exact...how could that go wrong! Celebrating the New Year with my husband, our two kids as well as my in-laws, Maui is a tradition that we enjoy every other year. For that, we are very thankful.
Coming home from this family vacation we returned to my in-laws home to live where we had lived for the better half of the year. Awaiting our new home build was a feat that found us finding an inner strength and new-found sense of self and family as we entered their home as a family of three and exited May 2010 as a family of four. Through our living situations and a new baby, once we found peace in our own home, we found struggles in our marriage. I know through having had Kai, that babies change you. They change what you previously lived for, but they also change your relationship as you know it with your partner. And yes, this happened with my husband and I. But the second time round, with Sienna being born, we had a different adversity to add to the normal, living in a home that wasn't ours, with a one and a half-year old and a newborn. Our distance from each other set in to a more noticeable issue once we were on our own grounds.
After all of our excitements surrounding moving into our new home and accomplishing our goal of the Oliver Half Ironman, we began facing our issues as we delved deep into who we are, who we are as a couple, and who it is we want to be: individually, together and as a family. Our findings are and continue to be ironically similar! It is funny how communication is such a simple daily thing and yet in a relationship often times is the first thing to go and where the breakdown begins. Ryan and I aren't new to the world of being together. We have been together now for eleven and a half years, married for five and a half. Yet when our story together began, we were young; throughout the years we have grown and changed, much of it together and surprisingly, much of it alone. This is where the communication has come into play. We were feeling alone. Alone yet always surrounded by one another or one of our children. Ironic isn't it. You can feel alone and sad and yet be sitting beside the one person you wish would understand you most. And so we talked...we talked ourselves through sessions of therapy, evenings at home, phone calls and texts. And now we keep talking, but there is a primary difference, we talk because we know the other person wants to listen and is receptive to hearing the other ones thoughts. Be it a negative or a positive, that's why we are together; to help one another through the good and the bad "through sickness and health" and simply put, because I love him and now I know, he loves me too.
I am hoping that this blog won't pose a "negative conversation" between us now! Lol. I write this because I am thankful for the months, the years, of ups and downs we have faced because here we are at the beginning of a new year stronger than we have ever been. I know that most people face adversity in their relationships at some point or another, and through my experience, there is hope and there are options...but you have to be open to listening. Communication is an amazing world and for us, it works.

So now, with the start of 2011, I am looking forward to a new year filled with many new adventures, goals, love, laughter and fun. I know that there will be struggles, but I am beginning to look at them differently. Now instead of the struggles dictating my life, I am going to do my best to find the lesson in them.

2010 held many positives as well, don't get me wrong! Kai turned 2, Sienna turned 1, we had our 5 year wedding anniversary, we moved, I beat me husband in Oliver ;-), Maui, Mexico, Vegas, Italy, Arizona, Seattle Marathon, Christmas in our new home...MANY moments to be thankful for.

Thank you 2010 for showing me that I am stronger than I gave myself credit for; for holding amazing memories of our children and family, and for a year that came with challenges to make sure we enjoy 2011 that much more.

"Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is bliss, taste it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it."
Mother Teresa

~Happy New Year~

Thank you to the love of my life for showing me compassion, understanding, patience and most of all, love. To an amazing 2011 with much to look forward to, together.