I came across this article today, and well, it seemed fitting!
Everyones' circumstance and position (no pun intended) on this topic are different as per work and family life I am sure. But for us being on our third baby...I know what is to come in the sleep department for the next while.
When Kai was born, being our first, neither Ryan or I knew what was ahead. Long sleepless nights. Lots of little sounds...and many sleep interruptions.
Ryan, being a light sleeper, had to move to a blow-up bed in our second bedroom apartment in order to sleep and work the next day. I slowly adapted to the new sleep arrangements and got used to the sounds Kai made...and eventually was able to sleep with him in the room. A few months later, Kai returned to his own room and crib, and Ryan to our bed.
Knowing what was to come the second time around was a little easier to handle. The first time was rough on us as a part of our husband and wife connection was re-moved and I definitely felt a lack of bond and connection for a while. A little, alone. Having a baby is an amazing and scary thing. Funny how something so wonderful can also be the most scary thing you have ever done. Kids definitely change every facet in your life...and your marriage is one that takes its toll as well. Marriage takes work: and kids put it to the test! When you are used to it just being the two of you...suddenly someone else takes the front position.
I knew for round two, I didn't want to be "separated" from Ryan for as long, and therefore Si was moved from bassinet to her own crib a lot faster.
Third time round, and I am feeling no different. At least this time we have a spare room and actual bed for Ryan to enjoy! My intentions are for the baby to be in it's own room as soon as the time permits. Hopefully I wont be missing my partner in our shared bed for too long!
All this talk on sleep and beds brings me to the topic of the article. Not sleeping in the same bed (let alone the same room!) with my partner, missing a certain connection and feeling of support obviously all have significant outcomes on the way a wife, in my circumstance, me, feels after having a baby. It is the little things that make a huge difference in the life of a new mom; and when those gestures are coming from her husband...for me, they made me feel as if he was still trying and always present.
I am fortunate for the man I am married to. He is an amazing dad and supportive husband. Although this is our third, I recognize that we are never fully in the know as to what is ahead, but am thankful that we know how to help alleviate some of life's pressures and stresses for one another. I know that he will be there for me and our kids as best as he can; and I hope he knows that I will, and do, do my best to do the same for him.
I definitely do not feel like the most sexiest person these days, but am very lucky I have a husband that thinks his wife is attractive when pregnant...and when not. But lets face it...for a man to look at his wife in the same way after labor and childbirth, likely changes. Especially if that man were one to have been south of the equator watching their bundle of joy enter the world...
Just saying.
And for the woman...having something the size of a watermelon appear from a lemon...well, likely her thoughts for a good while are "ouch" or maybe, "not a chance."
It takes some time...and it takes some work. Patience, love and support by all parties.
Back to the little things...feeling wanted, acknowledged, loved and supported make everyone feel sexy, not just the wife after baby, right!?
And if you husbands want to take the sexiness one step further...
What is more sexy than a man doing the laundry, vacuuming, changing the diapers...
;-)
