As much as I try to hold confidence- as much as i tell myself that I am happy and confident in me…I still have the down times, the days or weeks that I fell not good enough. The number isn't low enough. the muscles aren't toned enough… WHY.
How am I always sold on A vision and not sold on THE vision of myself. I can say things, and I mean them…i think. I am a women. I am happy. I love and am loved. I treat myself well and hold health and exercise as a high priority in my life. Yet, I still have fat days.Yes FAT days... I have days that I wished I resembled the likes of Kate Hudson, Kara Goucher or Jen Aniston.
How can I change this mind. How can we all change our tinging thoughts that appear like bubbles from our mouths in a cartoon strip. How can I ensure that my daughters grow with a strong sense of self and worth. That they know that they are beautiful inside and out. That they are good enough, more than, and always will be…?
I am looking inside to learn more about me. Maybe locate where some of these feelings stem from. To try my hardest to lead my children down a path of no insecurities and high value.
I admire those that don't show form of insecurity- but i question…does everyone have there own war within themselves when it comes to image/body issues? I know its a more common place with women…but do men fight the same war in the same way?
I mean, sure, we as women enjoy looking at the likes of certain images- topless buff men or what have you- but it never seems to be as prevalent as it is in women.
I am realistic about many things. I logically get it. I have carried and am now raising three beautiful children in 3 years. I have a certain amount of time in the day. I have a life outside of workouts. I have energy levels that fluctuate. I don't always eat the best...
My body…what i put in it- what i get out of it…energy, moods…what makes me a better person, a better mom… I deal with different hormone imbalances that effect me in different ways- and slowly trying to figure these out will help my body from the inside out as well…but I am not lying when I say its a challenging road. I have to remind myself to be nice- to myself!- when I have thoughts of the not good enough image.
I give myself a break…and I am actually way more fit post kids than pre…but I still strive. I honestly don't think there is anything wrong with that. The will to work towards something. I think the issue is more in the fact of comparisons. We are all different….to compare is not a reality. To set personal goals and work towards them- seeing your own results- is where the true reward lies…whatever that may look like to you.
Thank you for reading…and thanks for allowing myself to write my way through this! This is why I love writing, and wish i made more time to do it- I finally answered my own question…it just took a few hundred words and a lot of emotions.
and this is the perfect quote~
